


I'm Sinking Like A Stone In The Sea

by CastYourDemons



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: F/F, Naomi x Emily, NaomixEmily, Skins UK - Freeform, naomily - Freeform, skins - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 35,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4656786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastYourDemons/pseuds/CastYourDemons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a year since Emily ran away and left Naomi behind without a word or explanation, but an injury causes the two to cross paths again, throwing both girls' lives into turmoil. Takes place three years after series four.</p>
<p>AN: I also have this story up on fanfiction.net under the pen name CastYourDemons</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The flashbacks are in italics.

She sat quietly in the cold room of the clinic, waiting for the doctor to enter. Music was playing softly overhead as she glanced around the room, bored as she'd been waiting for fifteen minutes already.

She had fallen a few days before and broken her left arm. Tripped during a photo shoot on a bag that someone had left out. She sighed and leaned back against her chair, trying to relax when the lyrics to Colbie Calliat's I Never Told You crept into her ears. The redhead tried quickly to distract herself.

" _I see your blue eyes every time I close mine."_

Emily nervously picked at her nails, trying to push those icy blue eyes out of her mind. Just a few moments later, Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum floated out of the speakers. Tears stung at Emily's eyes as she was submerged into memories of Naomi, the girl she hadn't seen in over a year; the girl she ran away from.

The past year had been difficult, of course, but Emily managed, or at least tried to manage, to push through it. She knew that it was the best for Naomi. Emily gets lost in the memory of the love of her life kissing her goodbye sweetly before Naomi left for work. The blonde didn't know that she'd come home to an empty flat with all of Emily's things missing.

 

//

 

_The last memory of Naomi is a pleasant one. Emily feels almost selfish because of it; most people have to endure the rest of their lives tortured by having to witness the pain they inflict and the heart break. Emily had hated that she left that way but she couldn't stand to see Naomi hurt. And a year later, the redhead still wasn't over it. She still had moments when she got caught up in remembering the girl she fell in love with. Much like now._

_She had to get out of Bristol. Emily ran the risk of running across Naomi and she couldn't handle it at all. She couldn't bring herself to see how hurt she would be. Maybe, if she was lucky, Naomi wouldn't be hurt at all and maybe even understand why Emily did what she did and forgive her._

_"Impossible Fitch, what the fuck are you thinking? You fucking twat, of course she's going to be hurt. We've been together for years," the redhead said to herself sternly, becoming angry at herself._

_"No, don't you dare cry," she warned her brain as she stood on the platform waiting for the train to arrive._

_"For fuck's sake," she said again, resting her head back against the bricks, growing increasingly impatient._

 

//

 

_The train ride took nearly two hours to get back to London and when she stepped onto the platform, an overwhelming sense of relief passed through her petite body. Emily ran her fingers through her tousled hair and sighed. She picked up her bags and set off towards the entrance and hailed for a taxi. The drizzle had started just moments before she got in the back and mumbled directions to the driver. As he set off, the weather picked up and the rain pelted at the windows and she watched them slide down the window, colliding and pulling apart as the water constantly pulled itself downwards._

_The cab soon slowed in front of a block of flats that looked rather old. Emily looked up at the building and quietly fought of tears. She hands the driver a few notes and gathers her things, pulling her coat up closer around her neck, and exiting the car. The redhead nudged the button with an elbow only to hear an annoyed, familiar voice saying, "Who is it?" That's when Emily couldn't hold back the tears anymore._

//

 

"Sorry for the wait Miss.." the doctor flipped up the paper searching, "Fitch? I'm Doctor Miles. How are you feeling?"

"I've been loads better, doctor," Emily replies, meeting the doctors waiting hand. She give it a shake.

"Well, let's see what we have here," he says, hanging up the x-rays and turning the switch. "It looks as though you've just broken your elbow. I'd say a radial head fracture. No broken radius or ulna."

"Is that good or bad?" the redhead asks sheepishly.

"You're going to need surgery. The sooner the better, I'd say, so you can get back to work. Is there anyone to watch after you?" the doctor questions, taking a seat on the spiny chair next to Emily.

"Surgery?" Emily asks horrified. "Uh, yeah, my sister can. Katie," she replies with a tight smile.

"Good. Now let's go get all this bloody paperwork taken care of," he says with a bright smile and a pat on Emily's good arm just before leaving the room.

"Fucking hell," Emily groans to herself as she gets up and follows him out.


	2. Chapter 2

Naomi had come home early that day, wanting to surprise her girlfriend with a romantic night in. It had been a rough two weeks, as Emily had lost her job and was struggling to try and find another place of employment. The blonde tried to comfort her girlfriend but Emily only pulled away and tried to keep to herself. Naomi was hurt, naturally, but tried to keep her emotions at bay as she became desperate to get their relationship back to normal.

The tall blonde unlocked the latch to their flat and made her way inside singing, "Emilyyy! Helloo?" while holding a bouquet of roses and some bags full of food items. Naomi nudged the door closed with her hip and entered into the kitchen, dropping the bags onto the counter and hanging up her keys on the hook. With a small grin on her face, she opened the bedroom door with a small click and looked around.

Confused, she turned back and opened the bathroom door to find it as empty as the rest of the flat. Naomi frowned and walked back to the kitchen and found a vase to put the flowers in. After those were arranged properly, Naomi looked along the counter.

"Maybe she's left a note or something," she said softly to herself.

When her eyes found nothing, she became a bit frantic, walking through the flat again, searching for some sort of clue. Her eyes picked up on Emily's coats missing from the rack and fear shot through her spine. _Maybe I'm overreacting,_ she thought to herself. The blonde ran back to the room and wrenched open the drawers to the dressing table to find them empty. She bolted to the closet, opening up the door to find half of the hangers without clothing.

Naomi sank to the ground, trying to persuade herself that Emily hadn't left. She couldn't have. They'd been together for nearly three years now. It doesn't work that way. She can't just up and leave. Not now. Not like this.

The blonde pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed until sleep overcame her and she dropped into a dreamless slumber.

 

//

 

She awoke hours later in the dark. Her throat felt raw and she felt like her head was filled with cotton. Naomi glanced around squinting as her eyes slowly adjusted to the dark room. She glanced up to see the closet still open and the pain hit her again. Harder perhaps. She groaned and managed to lift herself up, pulling her arms across her chest to keep herself together. Something pulled at her heart as she closed the door and drawers. Her eyes filled with fresh tears as the realization hit her that Emily hadn't come back at all. Naomi glanced at the table next to her bed and the digital numbers read out 2:13 am.

She bit her lip and walked out to the living area of the flat. Her hand found the switch on the wall and she flicked it upwards. She could now see the full effect that Emily's departure had. There were small places where her items had once sat, scattered throughout the room. The blonde peered into the kitchen and saw the bags still on the counter and the roses in the vase. It was as if she'd been slapped in the face. A bandaid being ripped off. The leftover sting of Emily leaving had been felt all over her body, but mostly in her heart.

A faint beeping noise came from the bedroom and Naomi turned towards the noise, completely unenthusiastic. She couldn't help her lack of motivation. Emily was gone and Naomi's world was turned sideways. When Naomi picked up the phone, she only saw that she had a missed call from her mum.

She sighed and lay on her bed, covering her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger.

"What the fuck am I to do now?" she whispered, dropping her arms to her side.

The blonde glanced at the clock again. 2:16 am.

"For fuck's sake," she groaned and got up and headed for the bathroom.

Naomi slipped off her clothing silently and adjusted the water. She pulled back the curtain and stepped in, letting the warm water relax her muscles. She sighed and leaned her head against the cool tiles and let the water splash over her. The blonde slowly let the tears fall and once the hot water emptied, she wrapped a towel around herself and got out. As she dried off, she felt a pang of guilt, thinking perhaps the reason Emily left was because she pushed her to let her be comforted by Naomi. She shook her head and pulled on an old t-shirt and a clean pair of knickers and crawled under the covers until sleep took over again.

 

//

 

A few days passed without any word from Emily. The more time passed, the less she got out of bed. Cook had called a few times but she never answered. She only wanted to talk to Emily and the longer she went without her voice, the more the cracks in her heart seemed to deepen. It had been a week since Emily left and all Naomi had done was manage to find one of Emily's old shirts under the bed and cuddle with it and eat the ice cream she found in the back of the freezer and the garibaldi's that were in the cupboard. Naomi had no real appetite and she fought to keep the only food she managed to consume down.

A knock on the door startled Naomi as it resonated throughout the empty flat. She pushed herself up and looked through the peep hole.

"Come on Blondie, let me in!" Cook yelled as he banged on the door again.

Naomi unlatched the door and opened it, "Yes?"

"Where the fuck you been, love? You and Emilio ain't answerin' my calls," Cook says scratching the back of his head.

She flinches at his nickname for Emily and he instantly notices. He pushes open the door gently and pulls the weak blonde into his arms. "What happened?" he asks softly.

Naomi just shakes her head and breaks down for the third time that day and allows her best friend to try and comfort her.


	3. Chapter 3

Emily walked out of the doctor’s office and shoved the file of papers into her bag. The surgery had been set up for the following Thursday meaning she had to endure the pain for another five days. She hailed a taxi and watched the buildings blur by. Of course she’d thought about Naomi before and she still regretted that she left the way she did. The redhead had tried to go back and find her to apologize and hopefully work things out but when she went back to Bristol a month later, the flat was already occupied by a new tenant. So, with no real plan, Emily made her way back to London.

She had been living with Katie since she ran out on Naomi. Emily fled to her flat that day and hadn’t really left so it became assumed that she was living there as well. Katie was smug when she discovered that her twin had left that bitch of a blonde. Naomi deserved it. She cheated on Emily in college and broke her heart first.

The taxi pulled up to the block of flats and Emily thanked him and handed him a few notes. She stepped out of the car and made her way up to their flat, wincing when she accidentally hit her elbow on the way up to the third floor.

“How was it?” Katie shouted from the kitchen when she heard the door click shut from Emily’s arrival.

“I need surgery,” Emily replied sheepishly. “It’s for next Thursday,” she stated as she grabbed an apple from the counter with her good hand.

“Thursday? Why didn’t you say something sooner bitch? I’m leaving on Tuesday to go and set up a deal with some clients,” her twin replied angrily before taking a bite of her salad.

Emily rolled her eyes, “Well how was I supposed to know? I need to you here to take care of me. Doctor asked specifically”

“Well I can’t. You’re going to need to find someone else. Cause I can’t. I’m gone for the whole week.”

“That’s just great Katie. Cause I know so many people who live in London,” the younger twin said moving onto the couch in the living area.

“Whatever. Why don’t you go stay with mum? I’m sure she’d just love to have one of us back in the house,” Katie snickered into her salad.

“Fuck off,” Emily replied laughing.

//

“Ugh, Katie, I can’t believe you were actually being serious!” Emily groaned after being told that her trip to Bristol after her surgery had been squared away.

“Of course I was! I’m not going to be here and you said that the doctor said you needed to be looked after. So stop being such a whiny bitch and be happy I even did this for you,” the older twin replied as she sat across the table from her sister at a restaurant.

“You didn’t even ask be about it. I probably could’ve found some stranger to take care of me,” the redhead mumbled as she fiddled with the straw in her glass of water.

“Whatever. You’re having your surgery and then mum is taking you home and you’re staying there until you’re better or until I’m back,” Katie replied focusing on the menu in front of her.

“But Katie-“

“For fuck’s sake Ems, shut up and figure out what you’re going to eat,” Katie snapped, clearly annoyed.

Emily mumbled, “Fucking cow,” under her breath as she picked up the list and scanned over it.

It was going to be a long week without Katie. She had hardly seen her mum since she left after college and moved in with Naomi after they resolved their relationship. She’d come around slightly to the fact that she was gay but still tried to pressure her into dating, “a nice boy like JJ.” Emily loved her mum but she was so controlling and just a bitch when she didn’t get her way. Hopefully, she’d be knocked out on pain pills and not have to deal with her so much.

The sisters ordered their meals and they ate and had small talk. Katie was excited for her trip and was hoping she’d be able to make the deal with her clients. Her and mum had still managed to keep the wedding planning business although their dad had lost the gym a few years back. He was slowly starting to rebuild the company though, even trying to pull James into working with him. Mum dealt with the business in and around Bristol and Katie handled in and around London. It worked, for the most part, and they were both happy to be doing something together while Katie enjoyed the aspect of being independent from her hovering mum.

They finished their meal and left, walking down the road back towards their flat. The weather was shit and it started to get darker although it was only two in the afternoon. A storm was on its way again and they had to hurry to get back before the rain started.

“Well, I’m exhausted,” Katie said once they stepped inside the flat.

“What? You’ve hardly even done anything today; how the fuck are you tired?” Emily asked angrily.

Katie glanced at her watch quickly before replying, “I have to leave tomorrow and I need to rest.”

Emily’s eyes widened. “Katie! You didn’t!”

Katie gave a shy smile and ran to her room and locked it when Emily heard a buzzing and groaned. She looked out the window and sure enough, their mum was standing at the gate with bags in her hands.


	4. Chapter 4

 

It took a while, but eventually, Cook was able to persuade Naomi to tell him what had happened. He made her some tea and sent her to go take a shower while he cleaned up around the flat. He took out the trash and wiped down the counters, changing the sheets on her bed and throwing them in the wash before fitting on clean ones.  He did his best to dust the shelves and readjust the pillows on the couch.

 

Naomi walked out to find Cook moving around the pillows. She smirked a little and put a hand on her hip, waiting for him to notice he’d been caught. He saw her out of the corner of his eye and beamed at her.

 

“Lookin’ loads better, Naomikins,” he said excited.

 

“Ah, looks can be deceiving,” the blonde replied as she ran a towel through her hair. “Busy out here?”

 

“Oh, ya know, jus’.. tryin’ to be useful,” Cook says smiling again.

 

“Oh. Well.. thanks. You didn’t have to,” Naomi stutters out.

 

“Say no more, already done,” he says, reaching into his pocket to pull out a pack of fags. He extends the pack out to her as he puts one between his lips.

 

“No thanks,” Naomi smiles sheepishly. “Not allowed to smoke in here anyhow.”

 

“Care for a walk then, Blondie? You should get out some,” Cook replied as replaced the pack into his pocket. Naomi looked a bit uncomfortable so he grabbed a jumper off the coat hook and slid it over her head. “Good, yea?” he asked with a smirk. He grabbed the blonde’s hand and walked them out of the flat and down outside.

 

//

 

They walked for a bit as Cook chain smoked a few fags. He tried his best to make the girl smile and laugh, and she did, a little. But Naomi saw continuous flashes of red wherever they were. It was the end of September and the new month was right around the corner. October had always been her favourite month. She loved watching the leaves change colour and being in the midst of transition.

Perhaps this was her own transition month. She let out a shaky breath and looked around her. There was shops all around and everyone seemed to be busy. The blonde let her mind wander, wondering where Emily could be. Her chest started to ache more as the memories of the girl played out in her mind. She missed her, more than she knew she was capable of.

 

“Come back to me,” she heard Cook whisper, pulling her out of her reverie. He gave her a small grin and put his arm around her shoulder. “So what do you want to do today?”

 

“I’m not really in the mood to-“

 

“Nonsense. You need cheerin’ up Blondie. Come on, tell the Cookie Monster what you want. My treat,” he said giving her puppy dog eyes. Emily’s face slammed into her like a brick wall; the brown-eyed girl had always gotten her way by using that same expression.

 

Naomi crossed her arms, trying to hold herself together again. She felt like she was being ripped apart at the seams and all she could do was feel it. “Uhm, I dunno. Anything, I guess,” she responded quietly.

 

Cook sighed and led her towards a bench. “Come on Naomikins. You gotta let me cheer you up some, yea?”

 

“Cook,” she mumbled. “I just.. can’t. I feel like I’m being pulled apart and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It fucking hurts.”

 

He could see the tears in her eyes and it hurt him. He knew it was nothing to what she was feeling, though. He didn’t understand how someone could just up and leave this girl. Naomi was ace; she was everything anybody could ever hope for. He despised Emily for letting go of such a great thing.

 

“I’ve got it!” Cook exclaims standing up and pulling Naomi up with him.

 

He grabs her hand and pulls her away towards the shops, weaving in and out of the crowd.

 

“Cook, where are we going?” Naomi asks, trying to keep and attempting to not hit people in his haste.

 

“Just wait and see Blondie. Just wait and see.”

 

//

 

_“You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.”_

 

_“_ Damnit Cook, you know how much I fucking hate clichés; why would you make me watch this?!” Naomi yells as she wipes away her tears with a tissue paper.

 

“Isn’t this what girls need? Chick flick nights or whatever?” He replies trying to slyly wipe away a stray tear coming out of the corner of his eye.

 

“James Cook, are you crying?” Naomi asks surprised.

 

“What? Of course not, what do you think I’m some pussy,” Cook chuckles turning away.

 

“Look at me,” Naomi laughs while grabbing his face turning it towards him. “Oh my god, you are! James Cook, crying during a sappy film,” she says before bursting out laughing.

 

They laugh for what seems like forever and Naomi clutches her side, trying to gasp for air. “Oh my god,  Cook, you’re such a jerk. I haven’t laughed like this in forever,” she tells him as she wipes the tears that have formed from the excessive laughter.

 

“That was kinda the point of all of this,” Cook replies with a grin.

 

“Thank you,” Naomi says with a genuine smile. It’s been far too long since she’s felt sincerely happy.

 

“Come ‘ere, you,” Cook says as he puts his arm around the blonde, pulling her into his side.

 

They settle in and continue watching the film. Soon after, Naomi falls asleep and for the first time, she feels peaceful. She doesn’t dream of the redhead. She doesn’t dream at all. And when she awakes, she feels well rested, like she can take on whatever challenges the day throws at her.


	5. Chapter 5

The light was blurry and she could make out faint noises around her. She reached up to rub her eyes but she was stopped with a slight tug. Confused she looked around and saw the pale blue colour of the wall. Groggily, she closed her eyes again and tried to sink back into the pillow. It wasn't until she heard the soft call of her name that she tried to focus her attention again. She felt a palm against her cheek and she leaned into it, relishing the affectionate gesture. Slowly she opened her eyes again but her vision was still fuzzy around the edges. She saw a smudge of bright yellow, almost white and her heartbeat picked up. _Naomi,_ she thought. The machine next to her gave her away as the low, quiet beeps suddenly picked up. She took in a deep breath, trying to calm racing nerves and tried to blink away the fuzz.

It took about thirty seconds before she realized where she was. She was lying in a hospital bed with an itchy blanket draped over her. It took about another ten seconds to realize it was her mum that still had her palm against the redhead's cheek.

"Emily, darling. How are you feeling?" Jenna asked softly.

Emily pulled away slightly from her hand before quietly replying, "Fine." Her voice was hoarse from the drugs in her system and her throat felt dry and scratchy. "What time is it?" she questioned as she turned, hoping there was a glass of water or some other beverage next to the bed.

Jenna looked at her watch and answered, "Nearly half of three. You've been out of surgery for a while." With a fake looking smile, she sat down on the chair besides Emily's bed.

Emily groaned when she couldn't find any liquid to quench her aching throat. She dropped her head back into the pillows and glanced towards her mother. "Do you think you could get me some water, Mum?" the redhead asked.

"Oh, of course, Emily dear. I'll be right back," the elder Fitch replies before standing, straightening her skirt, and leaving the room.

Emily closed her eyes again and she felt like she was floating. She felt as light as a feather, just lying there in the light blue room, but with an uncomfortable blanket covering her. The redhead was relaxed and settling into the comfortable pillows behind her. She started to feel a throbbing sensation in her left arm but she tried to ignore it. She was having too much fun being a light feather. The aching started to hurt more and realized it was her left elbow that was hurting,

"Fucking hell," she mumbled as she heard footsteps approaching her bedside. "Mum? Oh!"

A nurse had appeared at her bedside and was smiling down at her. "Hello there, Miss Fitch."

She was beautiful. She had brown hair that fell just past her shoulder and gorgeous hazel eyes. Emily could even see the light freckles on her face. Surprisingly, she had a lip piercing although Emily was sure those weren't supposed to be allowed. Emily watched as the nurse's expression turned into a questioning one and Emily knew she had just been caught staring at the woman.

"Emily," the redhead felt a blush creep across her face, "call me Emily."

"Well Emily," the woman smiled at her, "it's time for another pill. I'm Jordyn by the way."

"Hi Jordyn," Emily replied whilst biting her lip gently. "What pill might that be?"

"Your pain killer," Jordyn said laughing and holding out a small white pill with a glass of water.

Emily took the pill and downed the whole glass of water, instantly feeling much better and the pain in her throat easing slightly. Jordyn simply smiled at the redhead and waited for her to hand back the cup.

"Are you always that thirsty?" the nurse teased with chuckle, her eyes sparkling.

"Only when my mouth goes dry. Which is usually when I see a gorgeous girl around," Emily says with a light tone, flashing a smile at the young woman. She sees the girl blush and turn slightly, depositing the paper cup into the waste bin and wash her hands at the sink.

"Well Miss Emily Fitch, maybe I should give you a call later to check up on you," Jordyn says with a smile of her own on her face.

"Sounds good to me," Emily replied, leaning her head back against the pillows after handing Jordyn her mobile that had been sitting on the table next to her. She smiled, thinking she still had the charm, even when drugged up in a hospital gown, and chuckled mentally.

The nurse handed Emily back her phone and grinned as Emily sent her a wink. Just as Jordyn turned to walk away, Jenna walked back into the room with a water bottle. She spotted the nurse and saw the expressions on both of them as she walked back to her seat with a stern expression on her face.

"Emily, you better not have been doing what I think you were doing. You need to quit that nonsense."

"I didn't do anything Mum," she replied as she took the water bottle from Jenna and drank nearly half of it in one swig.

 

//

 

The week passed by rather slowly. The only upsides were when Katie called to check in on her twin and when Jordyn called to "make sure she was alright." They would talk for an hour whenever she called the redhead and Jenna would stand outside her daughter's door listening in with a disapproving look. It disgusted her that her daughter could live such an inappropriate lifestyle. She had raised her daughter better than that. Emily just wanted to rebel against her and try to not be like her older sister, the elder Fitch thought.

Rob would check in on Emily when he got home from the gym and they'd have a nice chat while Emily lay in bed. It was almost like old times when they'd talk all the time and have their father daughter bonding. Just to pass some time, Emily would make her way down to the living area with her massive stack of pillows and watch a game of football with her dad. And it was nice, just being able to relax and spend some quality time with Rob. She missed him while she was away in London. She hadn't really visited much and she felt homesick at times. But it was better to be homesick than see the girl you walked out on and put through so much pain.

 

//

 

Katie returned late Wednesday night and made her way up to the room that she used to share with her twin before they both moved out.

"Emily," Katie called out as she opened the door. "Who's that on the phone?"

"Oh, I have to go… I'll talk to you later… Okay, bye," Emily hung up with a smile. "Just my nurse from the hospital."

"And she's calling you on your mobile? At ten in the evening?" the older twin asked as she checked her watch.

The redhead sighed and put down her mobile. "Could you get me a glass of water, Kay?"

"Ugh, fine," Katie responded and dropped her bags on her bed before leaving the room.

"Emsy, I have something to tell you," Katie said sheepishly as she handed Emily the glass of water. "Well, I called your doctor in London and changed all of your appointments to here since Mum and I have to work on a wedding. The clients came through and well, I mean, we can't do it me so far away and you can't stay by yourself yet.. are you mad?"

"Well there's not much I can do about it, can I? I can't take care of myself and you're here now so I don't need to deal with Mum by myself. As long as you don't leave me again like you did!" Emily replied as she drained the liquid in her glass.

"Okay then! So, since I rescheduled all of your stuff, you have an appointment tomorrow morning at ten," Katie responded quickly as she pulled back her duvet and getting under it.

"Fine," Emily said, leaning back against her pillows and propping up her elbow.

 

//

 

The twins sat waiting for the nurse to call them in for the doctor to see Emily. Katie sat flipping through some of her catalogs, trying to get work done for the wedding and Emily just looked around bored. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out, smiling when she saw she had a text from Jordyn.

How are you feeling? X

Emily bit her lip, feeling a shy smile grace her lips. Jordyn was nice to her and it was great feeling this way again. She hadn't felt this way since Naomi. Emily instantly pushed the thought out of her head. Surely the blonde had moved on and met someone else. The idea crushed her heart a bit, but she knew it was inevitable. She typed a response.

I've been better. Sitting in a waiting room at the doctor's office waiting to be called in. x

She looked around the waiting room and noticed a small child playing with one of the toys that were placed in the corner. The child had big brown eyes and a tuft of blonde hair on his head. She grinned and began to wonder if maybe one day she'd end up with children. She'd always wanted them and she had thought that eventually she and Naomi would have some. But that was before she walked out on her. They had never really discussed it but she wanted to, nonetheless. The vibration pulled her out of her thoughts.

Well my break is almost over so I'll probably see you(: X

The thought caused Emily to blush. She was excited to possibly see the brunette; especially since the last time she did she was drugged up and trapped in a hospital bed. Just before she could reply, she heard her name being called.

"Emily Fitch."

The twins rose and followed the nurse through the door, down the hallway, and into a small room filled with light. It looked similar to the room she sat in back in London when she found out she needed surgery. Two of the four walls were mostly windows and there were two beds with crinkly paper. In between the beds were two chairs, which both twins took. The walls that didn't have windows were lined with counters that held multiple tools and computers. There were plain white walls and linoleum on the floors. The room even felt cold. A typical doctor's office.

Another nurse comes in to unwrap Emily's bandages and see how she's starting to heal from the surgery. They exchange small talk and the nurse seems genuine and polite. It makes Emily smile while Katie continues with her catalogs. The nurse leaves and tells her the doctor will be in shortly to talk to her.

The doctor enters the room a few minutes later and tests out Emily's range of movement. It's excruciating as the pain shoots up and down her arm as he helps her bend her appendage. She had muscle damage but other than that, her elbow was looking a lot better. They screwed in the piece of bone that had broken off and it wouldn't take too long to heal back correctly. He gave her instructions for physical therapy and left to send in a nurse to bandage her back up.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Emily Fitch," Emily heard as Jordyn walked into the small room.

"Hey," Emily said with a smile.

"I'm here to wrap you up and send you on your way," the brunette said with a grin. The way her eyes glinted in the florescent lights sent off a feeling of déjà vu. There was something familiar about the girl that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Awh, so soon?" the redhead teased.

Jordyn brought a few rolls of cotton and ace bandages to the table as she readjusted Emily's half cast and started to wrap them around it. "Unfortunately," Jordyn replied. She finished up with Emily's arm and patted it. "Good as new. Er, well, almost," the girl said with a giggle.

Emily thanked her and they walked out to the front office. Katie followed behind, being unusually quiet.

"So… I'll call you later to check up on you?" the nurse asked as she flashed a smile at Emily.

"I'll be looking forward to it," the redhead replied as she returned the smile.

"Ugh, you're so disgusting," Katie said as soon as they exited the building.

"What?" Emily asked with a grin still plastered to her face.

"It's obvious you two were flirting."

"And? You flirt with guys all the time. Plus, I usually just shag girls and fuck off. Jordyn's nice. I think I might like her."

"Are you serious Emily?" Katie started but Emily got distracted.

She saw a tall blonde out of the corner of her eye. With her heart pounding and her knees feeling weak, Emily whipped her head around, trying to find her. She began to panic as she searched through the crowd with her eyes. She was absolutely sure she had seen Naomi and the thought made her feel sick. She bit her lip trying harder to look when she heard her name being yelled at her angrily.

"Emily! You're not even listening to me for fuck's sake," Katie screeched at her, fuming.

"Sorry Kay, I just thought I had seen someone," Emily responded quietly as she tried to look around again.


	6. Chapter 6

It was excruciating. Everywhere the redhead went, she thought she saw flashes of blonde. The constant reminders of Naomi were killing her slowly. The pain inflicted upon her threw her into a slight frenzy; every time she went out, she looked for the girl she had walked away from. Maybe it was the fact that she was back in Bristol. Maybe it was the drugs. Who knows, but the anxiety it caused was starting to take a toll on the girl.

 

She missed her like crazy, that much was obvious. Emily missed the way Naomi pulled her closer while they slept, the way she would tease the redhead, even the way she attempted to cook for them. Everyone knew Naomi couldn’t cook to save her life. She missed the little line that would appear on her forehead whenever she was deep in thought, the way her eyes would flit around when she was nervous. Her eyes. She missed those the most. Those icy blue orbs that appeared like oceans that she would stare into the depths of. Those signature blue eyes that she loved so much.

 

Jordyn still called to check in, and their few texts a day turned into dozens and the flirting was turned up. Emily had really started to like the brunette despite her growing apprehension the blonde unknowingly caused. Then during one of their now common phone calls, Jordyn asked her on a date. The redhead agreed rather quickly; probably too quickly, to be honest. But she was excited and it had been a while since she had been on a date or a proper one at least.  The girls agreed to meet at the park the next day. Emily was beyond ecstatic. She couldn’t wait and her bound up energy kept her from getting a good night’s sleep.

 

//

 

Emily arrived at the park a few minutes early and sat on the bench, playing with her phone to pass the time. She nervously glanced at the time every so often only to be disappointed when only a few minutes had passed. She looked around the green park. Trees were scattered along the terrain and there was a play area for children. There were a few toddlers running around, going down the slide, and playing with toys. Some older children were playing on the swings and she was instantly brought back to when she and Katie would play at the park. They weren’t like the other kids, or at least Emily wasn’t; she and Katie used to climb trees and stay to themselves whilst the other kids played with each other and made friends. That was until they turned eight and Katie decided she wanted to make friends of her own. That’s when Emily started to become the shadow. She was afraid that she wouldn’t make her own friends so she tagged along with Katie, hoping she’d fit in with them. She never really did, but the other kids accepted the twins as a package. If you wanted Katie to be your friend, you needed to have Emily too. It wasn’t until college that she started to become her own person. She was tired of being a doormat.

 

The staccato sound of heels pulled Emily from her thoughts. She looked towards the sound and was stunned at what she saw. Walking towards her was the gorgeous brunette clad in black and white heels, fishnets, a pair of black shorts, a white lace top, and a black leather jacket. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she had on a brass knuckle necklace. Her makeup was simple, but the real stunner was the bright red lipstick she pulled off perfectly and a pair of black reading glasses graced her face as well. To put it quite simply, she was breathtaking.

 

“Staring much?” Jordyn asked with a grin as she approached Emily whose mouth had dropped open.

 

“Sorry,” Emily stuttered out as a blush spread across her cheeks; she had obviously been caught. “You look amazing.”

 

“Thanks. You don’t look bad yourself,” Jordyn replied with a wink.

 

Emily looked down at herself. She was wearing skinny jeans with black Vans and a hoodie to hide her brace she was fitted with during physical therapy. “Sorry, I didn’t know I was meant to get all dressed up.”

 

“No, you weren’t. This is what I wear when I’m not working,” the brunette replied with a smile.

 

_Damn, I wonder what you look like dressed up,_ Emily thought as she bit the inside of her lip gently. She smiled back and suggested they got on their way.

 

//

 

First they had went to a small café and sipped on coffee over small talk. It was relaxing and nice and Emily enjoyed the brunette’s presence. Seeing in her day clothes reminded her even more of someone but she still couldn’t quite put her finger on it. It intrigued her and made her want to learn more about the girl.

 

“What’s your favourite colour?” Emily asked before taking a drink of her coffee.

 

“Green. Yours?”

 

“Blue.” _Fuck. Not blue,_ Emily thought as those beautiful eyes pierced back into her brain.

 

“Cliché,” Jordyn said with a grin. “What do you do for a living?”

 

“Oh, before I got hurt I had been helping a photographer with his appointments and stuff. Helped him out during photo shoots. Prepped the models and stuff. That’s how I got hurt actually.”

 

“Oh?” Jordyn pressed on before taking another sip of coffee.

 

“Yeah, someone had left out a bag and clumsy me tripped over it and fell hard on my elbow.”

 

Jordyn tried to stifle a giggle but failed miserably.

 

“What? It’s not funny,” Emily started before laughing herself. Jordyn’s giggles were adorable and they caused her to laugh as well.

 

“I’m sorry,” the girl said between giggles, “are you done with your coffee? We should get going.”

 

“Where are we going?” Emily said as they both stood to go throw away their cups into the bin.

 

“You’ll see,” Jordyn said with a wink before grabbing Emily’s hand and intertwining their fingers.

 

That’s when it happened. Butterflies erupted in her chest at the simple gesture. She looked away nervously as she felt the chaos in her stomach unleash. This girl was something else.

 

“Actually, do you mind if we stop by my flat? It was a bad idea to wear heels. Especially since it looks like a storm is coming,” Jordyn asked as she pointed to the sky with her free hand.

 

“Yeah, no problem,” the redhead replied as they walked down the city streets.

 

They came across a block of flats and Jordyn led her up the stairs to the second floor of the building. The brunette dropped Emily’s hand as she unlocked the door and Emily instantly missed the warmth and comfort it had provided her with. Jordyn pushed open the door and politely gestured Emily forward into the apartment. The walls in the living area were a simple white colour but the room was decorated in splashes of red everywhere. Along one of the walls were picture frames and shelves which Emily was instantly curious to inspect. There were two couches and a coffee table and a flat screen telly mounted to the wall across from one of the couches. The windows showed off the view to a park with a lake that looked welcoming and inviting. Emily more or less fell in love with the room; it was simple yet complex and that captivated the redhead.

 

“I’ll just be right back. Make yourself at home,” Jordyn said as she made her way through one of the doors.

 

Emily nodded and walked around the room, examining everything she could find. She reached out and touched one of the frames on the wall. It looked rather recent. She was with a group of girls that all looked beautiful and she was in the center. It looked like she was at a show or something. Next to that frame showed Jordyn and an older woman who Emily assumed to be her mother. Just above that there was another frame that showed off a much younger version of Jordyn, probably fifteen or sixteen with shorter red hair but the same piercing and bright eyes. She stood next to a boy and the two were dressed up; Jordyn was in a blue dress with rhinestones attached to it and he was in a tuxedo.

 

“That was my prom photo,” she heard from behind her.

 

“What?” Emily asked confused.

 

Jordyn smiled and continued. “I lived in America until I was sixteen. That was a few months before I moved here. It’s a school function. Like a ball, yeah? My mother kinda forced me to go since we were leaving the country and there aren’t any in Bristol,” she finished with a small chuckle.

 

“Why’d you move to Bristol?” Emily questioned as she took a step closer to the brunette.

 

“That can be a story for our walk,” Jordyn grinned at her as she snaked her arm around her waist and led them out of the flat.

 

//

 

“We always moved around when I was younger. I was born in the states but there was always some reason to up and leave. I don’t think we stayed in one place longer than a few years. That photo you were looking at was in California. That guy was my boyfriend at the time actually. Yeah, I know, ‘I thought you’re into girls?’ but he was rather persistent. He was also my best mate and I felt terrible not at least giving him a chance. But yeah, my mum and dad packed us all up and moved us to Bristol. When I turned eighteen and had enough money, I moved out and got the flat I’m in now. Which I guess is good cause less than two months later, my family moved again. About a year ago they moved back to the states though. I didn’t want to go with them even though there was a girl still waiting for me back home. I was already at the hospital and I didn’t want to go through the hassle of trying to transfer all the way back and besides, I honestly hated where I was living before.”

 

Emily listened to the story and nodded throughout it, taking in what Jordyn was saying. She felt her stomach twist when Jordyn mentioned the girl in America. It was stupid but she couldn’t help it. Jordyn was beautiful; she could have anyone she wanted but she chose to go on a date with crippled little Emily. The thought actually made her smile.

 

“So, are we almost there yet?” Emily asked as she lightly squeezed their tangled fingers.

 

“Nearly,” Jordyn replied as she returned the gesture.

 

They had been walking for fifteen minutes and were well out of the city at this point. The trees became more frequent as did the grass on the side of the pathway they were currently walking on. The path had inclined and they were making their way to the top of a hill. The path crested and they were greeted by the view of the city. Emily stood there mesmerized by the amazing view and Jordyn had to tug on her hand to get her to follow.

 

Jordyn dropped the bag she had brought to the ground and started rifling through it while Emily looked back towards the view.

 

“Help me with the blanket, yeah?” Jordyn asked as she pulled out a green plaid blanket and began to unfold it.

 

“Sure,” Emily said as she grabbed the other corners and laid down the blanket. “Are we having a picnic?”

 

“Yepp,” Jordyn smiled at her as she began to pull out the food she packed for them. “We’ve got some turkey sandwiches and some crisps and I even made us some desert for after.”

 

“Awh, well aren’t you cute?” Emily giggled as she sat on the blanket next to the brunette.

 

Jordyn passed her a sandwich and a bag of crisps before they settled into a nice conversation. They talked about each other’s families and what they liked to do in their spare time. Jordyn shared that she liked to watch American shows like NCIS and CSI that she used to watch when she was younger and Emily talked about her hobby of photography and her reasoning why she works where she does. It was comfortable and they were having a good time. The sky had cleared and it began to turn dark as the sun started to set and they sat there and enjoyed the nature that surrounded them. It was peaceful and Emily reached over and took Jordyn’s hand in her own.

 

“I’ve had a really nice time today, Jordyn.”

 

“That was my intent,” she replied with a grin.

 

//

 

They lay on the hill and watched as the stars slowly peeked out beneath the dark sky. They each shined so brightly and beautifully that all Emily could do was stare in awe as she lay besides this beautiful woman on the perfect night. It was the happiest she had been in months. It wasn’t until Jordyn’s phone went off that they realized how late it actually was and that they should get back. While they packed up, the redhead had a ridiculous grin plastered to her face and she couldn’t control the eruption of butterflies that still consumed her stomach. They walked back into the city holding hands like they did before and the stars slowly faded from the city lights but the night was still clear.

 

“I had a great time tonight,” Jordyn said as they faced each other outside of her block of flats.

 

“Me too,” Emily replied with the smile still on her face.

 

“You look really cute with that big grin on your face,” the brunette teased as she tilted her head slightly.

 

Emily blushed and looked down a little but Jordyn caught her face with her hands and brought her lips against her own. It was soft and gentle. A simple kiss on the lips but Emily felt the blush creep all across her face and neck. Jordyn rested her hands on the redhead’s chest and smiled.

 

“Your heart beat is adorable,” she whispered and Emily knew that she wouldn’t be able to control the frantic beating in her chest. She felt like a teenager again and it made her smile even more.

 

Jordyn leaned in for another kiss and pulled back after a few seconds before whispering “Goodnight,” to the girl in front of her and turning to walk into the building.

 

Emily took a minute to compose herself and began walking towards her house. She zipped the hoodie up a bit more to keep herself warm and as she walked past a group of people stumbling out of a bar, her heart took flight again. She saw the wisp of blonde out of the corner of her eye and she turned to see a tall blonde getting into a cab in front of another girl with wavy dirty blonde hair. Their eyes met and those azure eyes she had spent months trying to forget locked onto hers and she saw the girl’s expression change from grinning to shock as the realization and recognition set in. The girl behind her pushed her into the taxi still laughing.

 

With tears stinging her eyes and her heart twisting in her chest, she set off for home, walking faster than she had originally.


	7. Chapter 7

She felt like she was drowning. It was as if all of the gravity in the world had vanished and was compressing into her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She felt the ground underneath her shake and the world around her stop spinning. Those eyes caught hers and she couldn't look away. The push on her shoulder is what it took to break the trance she had been trapped in.

"Hurry up!" she heard as the voice's owner giggled and she was pushed into the taxi.

"Er, sorry," the blonde choked out as she moved over to make room for the girl in the back.

"Too drunk?" the girl joked as she nudged Naomi's shoulder with her own.

"Something like that, Maya," Naomi replied quietly as she looked out the window.

 

//

 

The light blinded her in the early morning and her head hurt too much from crying the night before to even attempt to get up and close the curtains so the sun wouldn't peek through.

"Fucking hell," the blonde sighed as she ran her fingers through her messy hair. The pounding in her head started as she tried to readjust her body so she was more comfortable. It all still felt like a dream.

The girls stumbled into the flat late the night before. Naomi made her way to the bedroom and began peeling off her clothing and pulling on a tank top for bed. Her head still felt light and fuzzy from the alcohol. She still couldn't believe she had seen Emily. It had been months since she had seen her and so much had changed but she still had that spell on her. The one where she could look into the blonde's eyes and make everything melt away, leaving just the two together no matter how crowed the area was.

She hated it. She hated her. She hated _Emily._ The girl put her through hell and it made Naomi despise her and curse her in her mind when she was reminded of the redhead. It hurt still and she couldn't stop the feeling of a dagger twisting into her heart as she replayed the scene outside of the bar in her head over and over.

But Naomi couldn't deny the fluttering in her stomach as her eyes met brown and the way her heart began to beat faster. She hated the effect Emily Fitch still had on her. She hated that she still loved her. God, she still loved her and it made tears form in her eyes.

She glanced over at the calendar pinned on the wall and her eyes searched for the date. It was September 21st. The blonde sighed as she walked over towards her bed and nestled under the covers.

_Tomorrow is one year,_ she thought as she covered her face with her hands to stop the tears that had fallen down her face.

 

//

 

The body next to her began to shift and she felt an arm wrap around her waist. She smiled and managed to turn her head to the left. Lying next to her was her handsome bloke of a boyfriend. He was still sleeping as he pulled her closer and the warmth that radiated off of his body made her relax. She let herself be held as the thoughts she had the night before came rolling back into her mind. Naomi tried her best to stop the tears but a few managed to make their way through and they rolled down her cheek silently. She took a breath to calm herself and glanced over her sleeping boyfriend's shoulder at the digital clock that sat on the side table.

9:48 am.

She nestled against his chest and closed her eyes again. After a few minutes she gave up on trying to go back to sleep and instead began to study her boyfriend. He was lying on his side with an arm tucked under his face and the other draped across her torso. His dark brown almost black hair was a mess and was sticking up on one of the sides. His mouth was slightly agape and he had stubble from not shaving for a few days. She loved when he didn't shave sometimes; she liked the rough feeling against her face when she kissed him.

Her eyes wandered down from his face and she took in his neck and his collarbones. They stood out against his light coloured skin. She gazed at the ink that had started just below his collarbone and moved to his shoulder and dragged down his arm. The vibrant colours popped against his skin and made the picture look even more amazing than it already was. Swirls of green started along the bone and they morphed into leaves with bright red roses attached to them. On top of the flowers was a rope that twisted its way down his bicep to an anchor that lay on top of the blue ink that was an ocean. In the background of the tattoo, the colours were purple and a soft orange to show a sunset above the water. He'd told her the story countless times, once because she was drunk and asked multiple times in one night after they had met, after when she had actually seen it sober, and because she liked to ask because it was such a personal tale.

Growing up, his father was a Lieutenant in the Royal Navy and wasn't home a lot so he spent a lot of time with his mother and his little sister. His mother was always in the garden so he used to help her, or at least he felt as though he was helping. He just played with the soil and made a mess everywhere with it. She could imagine a much younger version of the boy sleeping next to her playing in the grass with dirt and mud all over him. It made her smile. His mum grew a ton of flowers but her pride of the garden was the red roses she grew. He could always remember seeing the roses around the house. When he was fourteen, his father died in a car accident on his way home to visit. He hadn't spent much time with his father but he admired him and looked up to him. He was his hero, as cliché as it was. Upon his father's death, it was his job to take care of his family and he tried his hardest to be there for his mum and little sister.

Naomi brushed her fingers along his shoulder and brought them to his chest, where she traced the outline of a lotus flower over his heart. This tattoo he had gotten for his little sister whom he affectionately called "Lotus". Her favourite, however, were the tattoos on his forearms. Her eyes flitted down to his sinewy forearms and she smiled. She read the words, "and miles to go before I sleep." On his other forearm was the beginning of the line, "but I have promises to keep," from Robert Frost's poem Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening. He had told her that when he was younger, he and his father would write letters back and forth while he was away at work. Just a few days after the accident, he had received the last letter from his father. He read poetry while he wasn't at home and in every letter, he'd write him his favourite poem at the time. At the end of the letter was this poem. He got the tattoo in his father's writing from the letter.

That was one of the reasons why Naomi loved him. He was so selfless and kind; he put others before himself and he cared about other's happiness. She smiled as looked upon her boyfriend sleeping peacefully. He loved her and she knew that. It almost made her feeling guilty for thinking about Emily. She was happy with him and that's what is important. She leaned forward and gently kissed one of the roses on his chest.

She watched his eyelids flutter slightly and his grasp around her tighten. She let out a small giggle and that caused him to open his eyes all the way.

"Good morning, beautiful," he murmured as he planted a light kiss on her forehead.

"Morning," she replied as she buried her head against his neck trying to hide the blush that spread across her face. "When did you and Cook get in last night?" the blonde asked as she pulled back to look at him.

"I dunno, like three? You know that boy, he likes to stay out," her boyfriend chuckled as he tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

She scoffed and smiled. "Believe it or not, he was worse in college."

"Oh, I believe you," he replied as he laughed. She could feel the vibrations in his chest as she lay against him.

"Your hair is all messy," she stated as she grinned up at him and ran her fingers through his soft hair. He'd probably need to get a haircut soon as the top was getting longer and fell over his eyes when it wasn't styled properly.

"I was going for the bed head look," he joked as he pulled her on top of him and planted kisses along her neck.

"Kian," she quipped as he moved towards the one spot on her neck that drove her crazy.

"Hmm?" he mumbled against her skin as he got closer.

She let out a soft moan as he began to gently suck on her neck. He smiled as he began to move upwards again and kissed along her jaw and up to her lips. She played with the hair at the nape of his as he kissed her passionately before sliding his tongue into her mouth. She opened her mouth and let him roam as he liked. His stubble scraped against her face and she enjoyed the feeling. His strong arms ran across her back and she gently bit on his lip. She felt him smile into the kiss and suddenly, they heard a loud crash from outside the bedroom.

Naomi groaned as she pulled away and said, "Cook better not fucking break anything out there."

She slid off of Kian and pulled a pair of shorts on and a jumper over her head. She turned around to find her boyfriend watching her.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just observing," he replied with a smile.

Naomi rolled her eyes and walked out of the bedroom to find Cook holding a dust pan as Maya swept up shards of glass.

"Cook what the fuck did you do?" Naomi yelled, clearly angry.

"Sorry Naomikins, I tripped and knocked down a vase is all. We're cleanin' it up," he replied sheepishly.

 

//

 

"So what were you girls up to last night?" Kian asked as he sat on the couch eating cereal in a pair of sweats.

"Just went out to the club for some drinks. Typical Friday night," Maya replied as she joined him.

The two settled into their own private conversation and Naomi pulled Cook into the spare bedroom.

"Cook, I saw her last night," Naomi said as she bit her lip.

"Who?" he responded as he took a bite of his toast.

"Emily, you twat. She was walking past the club as Maya and I were on our way out. We made eye contact and ugh, everything came flooding back. I couldn't move. Maya didn't notice; she just pushed me into the taxi laughing." Naomi confessed as she dropped her head into her hands.

"Well fuck," Cook replied as he scratched the back of his head. "You two didn't talk?"

"No, we left before either of us could say anything. It's been one year today." She could feel the tears stinging her eyes and she fought to hold them back.

Cook set down the bowl and pulled her into a hug, trying to comfort her. "I didn't even know she was back in town."

"Me either, that's why I didn't expect to see her last night. It nearly broke my heart all over again," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"Well let's all go out tonight again. If we happen to run into 'er at all, you'll be with your boy Kian and maybe she'll be jealous an know to back off, eh?" Cook said pulling back so he could see her face.

"Okay," she said looking down at her feet.

 

//

 

Naomi and Maya were getting ready and the boys were waiting—impatiently—in the kitchen. Naomi was pulling out all the big guns, putting on her best clubbing dress and putting on the expensive make up she only uses for special occasions.

"Is there a reason you're getting so dressed up?" Maya joked as she put on some eyeliner.

"Just Kian," Naomi replied with a smile as she wiped some eye shadow above her eyes, making them look even brighter.

"And we have to go you to impress him?"

"I just want to have a fun night is all, Maya," she replied adding a few final touches to her appearance.

"You girls ready yet?" they heard Kian shout from outside the door.

"Yeah babe, be right out," Naomi replied as she grabbed her bag from the bed and they made their way out.

Kian greeted her with a kiss and whispered, "You look sexy tonight" into her ear.

She giggled and followed Maya and Cook out the door with Kian following close behind. They decided to walk to the club and Kian had his arm wrapped around her shoulder. He was a bit taller than her and she loved it. He made her feel safe with just his height alone. Plus he was gorgeous. The group joked around as they made their way down the streets of Bristol, finally making it to the club.

When they got inside, they were greeted by flashing lights and music blaring. Naomi could feel the bass reverberating through her chest and she loved the feeling. She knew she looked hot and she planned on using it to her advantage tonight.

Naomi and Maya found a booth to sit in as the boys went to get some drinks. Kian returned with four pints and Cook came back with a tray full of shots.

"Let's get this party started!" he shouted as he downed a shot and less than two seconds later drained another, slamming both onto the table with such force, some of the vodka spilt out of the remaining shots.

The girls each took a shot and Kian tried to keep up with Cook. Naomi knew it was a bad idea, but she let him anyways. They took a few more and as the alcohol started to infiltrate her blood stream, Naomi stood up and pulled Kian out to the dance floor. The music flooded through the air and it caused her dance even closer to him, grinding into him and pulling him close. She turned around so her back was facing him and continued to dance as the song changed and the tempo increased. He leaned down and started kissing her neck and she let him, allowing the music to control her.

After a few songs, the couple made their way back to the booth to find Cook and Maya gone but the shots still there. They took them anyways and settled into the seat. She nuzzled at her boyfriend's neck and nipped softly at it, teasing him. He lifted her chin and started to kiss her hard. They made out for a while before Cook and Maya came back, disrupting them. Maya smiled and Cook looked worried. Naomi tilted her head, silently asking him what was wrong. Cook gestured to the dance floor and she saw a familiar brunette. After a few seconds, she realized who it was.

Katie Fitch.

A small panic set out in her body. Although she hoped Emily would be there, she secretly wished she wasn't. She didn't want a repeat of the evening before where she was entranced by the brown-eyes girl. Not with Kian around.

Kian was oblivious to their whole conversation and asked Naomi if she wanted to dance again. Hesitantly, she agreed and allowed herself to be pulled back to the dance floor where the couple began dancing again but not with the same ferocity as before. This time, she was scanning the room for any splashes of red. After a few songs, she gave up and gave herself over to the music once again. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel the alcohol burning in her stomach and the boy behind her hold her close.

It was then that she felt like someone staring at her. Her eyes flashed open and she caught the mysterious blue eyes she hadn't seen in years. She was staring straight at Effy Stonem. But just a few inches in front of the brunette was the redhead she didn't want to see.


	8. Chapter 8

 

The rest of the night and following morning were torture. A pressure had been placed upon the petite redhead and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it. She couldn’t tell Jordyn or even Katie. She knew she had to keep it bottled up. Those eighteen hours that passed after she had seen her ex-girlfriend had moved so slowly and with such terrible pain in the beginning that she took an extra pain pill and fell asleep until four, when her twin shook her awake.

 

“Bitch, wake up!” she heard being yelled at her.

 

“What do you want Katie?” Emily responded, trying to readjust her arm into a more comfortable position.

 

“You’ll never guess who I ran into today! Get up, we’re going out,” the older twin replied, moving across the room to the closet where she began pulling out articles of clothing to try on.

 

“Where are we going?” Emily asked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

 

“Effy’s moved back and she wanted to go to the club tonight. I told her were in town for a while so she said we should go out and we are, so hurry the fuck up and start getting ready.”

 

//

 

Emily had called Jordyn and asked her if she wanted to go with her but she was working, so Emily had to go alone with Katie, as they were going to meet up with Effy at the club. She felt the nostalgic mix of anticipation as the twins applied their makeup and began to set out for the club they used to go to in college. It had changed owners and had become a lot better than it used to be.

 

The girls walked towards the club and met up with Effy outside. They exchanged hello’s and went into the building and were instantly hit with the music. Emily felt the emotions hit as she walked into the familiar setting. Katie pulled them towards the bar and ordered them shots and she graciously accepted them. She wanted to rid her mind of Naomi, and Katie and Effy were definitely the solution.

 

Katie went to dance in the mob of people and Effy and Emily caught up with each other. She told the brunette about how she left Naomi and how upset she had been about it, how she missed her and even how she ran into her the night before. The more the drinks came, the more the truth poured from her mouth. She even managed to get in a few lines about Jordyn, but Naomi was her main focus at the moment.

 

“Well, let’s go dance and get even more fucked up,” Effy said as she fluidly rose from their booth, uttering her first real sentence of the night.

 

She pulled out a small bag and handed Emily a pill, which she took with a vodka chaser to get it down all the way. They made their way into the crowd and she turned around to check and see that Effy was behind her. She saw that Effy was staring and she was a bit confused.

Then, she decided to follow her line of vision. The redhead turned around, only to be stabbed with the piercing blue eyes she had seen the night before. Her whole plan for the night had backfired; she had meant to come out to forget about the girl, but here she was, just ten feet in front of her. Ten feet that was filled with dancing bodies that had no idea what had just happened.

 

//

 

She stood there frozen. All of her muscles paused as she stood looking at the girl in front of her.

She couldn’t move.

She could hardly breathe.

The music became fuzzy and all of the people around her disappeared as she focused on the azure eyes that she loved so much. Her heart ached as she saw them and knew she couldn’t look away. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see who it was. Another set of knowing blue eyes locked with hers and she knew she had to break herself away from the situation. Effy nodded at her and she made her way through the crowd of bodies towards the restrooms.

 

She splashed a little bit of water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She had changed so much since college and it was noticeable. Her hair was different and not as vibrant, but still red. She had grown up a lot in the past four years and she liked it. She liked that she felt more mature and adult like now than she was when she was a teenager.  She had grown up even more since she left Naomi. The redhead knew how it felt to have her heart ripped out and all hope disappearing when she went back to try and fix things with the blonde. It hurt, but she knew she deserved it.

 

She pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes, letting the pressure be the indicator that the situation was actually happening. Emily let out a long breath and looked into the mirror. She saw Naomi standing behind her. Her heart sped up and she felt her stomach collapse in on itself. 

 

“Emily,” she heard Naomi say quietly behind her.

 

It wasn’t a timid quiet either; she said it in a stern voice. Emily knew that it wouldn’t be a pleasant meeting whenever they actually encountered one another. She wasn’t expecting red carpet treatment or anything. She broke this girl’s heart and her own in the process.

 

“Naomi,” she mumbled in response.

 

“How are you?”

 

“I’ve been loads better. You?”

“Alright, I guess,” the blonde said as she leaned against the bathroom stall behind her, crossing her arms, her eyes hard.

 

“I’m sorry,” Emily said, looking down into the sink.

“For?”

“Everything,” She whispered as her voice broke.

 

Emily waited for a reply but nothing came. She looked up again to see that Naomi was just staring at her. She turned around slowly and took a step forward gingerly. Naomi just stood there, unmoving. The redhead took another small step forward, waiting for the girl in front of her to stop her. They were just about a foot away from each other and Emily could smell the vanilla perfume Naomi had on. It was a big change from her usual body mist of fresh fruits and watery lily but she liked it. It made her body crave the lips she used to kiss just because she could. Because they were hers.

Only they weren’t hers anymore. She probably had a new girlfriend. Naomi was gorgeous, who wouldn’t want her?

You, you twat. You left her, Emily scolded herself.

 

Naomi seemed to see the petite girl’s internal debate because a little smirk formed on her perfect lips.

“What?” Emily asked, a small smile forming on her own lips.

“Oh nothing,” the blonde replied cheerfully, turning to walk out of the restroom.

 

“Wait!” Emily said, reaching out for the blonde’s arm and instantly recoiling once she touched the soft skin on Naomi’s arm.

“What?” Naomi asked, flinching at the contact.

“Nothing, never mind.” Emily mumbled, returning to the sinks.

“Oh.. kay,” Naomi replied as she turned towards the door again and walked out.

“God Emily, you’re so fucking stupid,” she said into the mirror at herself. “Why the fuck didn’t you just talk to her?”

She felt the drug kicking in and she felt powerful. The redhead took one last look at herself in the mirror and went back out into the club, found Effy, and danced and drank the night away.

 

 //

 

The sound of her phone ringing awoke the petite redhead. She rolled over and pawed against the table next to her, trying to locate her cellular device without actually opening her eyes. She felt the cool plastic under her fingertips and she answered it, pressing the phone to her ear.

 

“Hello?” her voice tumbled out in a hoarse manner.

“Hey beautiful,” she heard Jordyn’s voice say.

“Hi, what’s up?” Emily asked with a smile on her face.

“Just checking in to see how you’re doing since you didn’t answer you phone last night.”

“Oh, you called? I’m sorry, I must not have seen.”

“I was just.. worried is all. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” She sounded hesitant.

“Yeah, I’m fine, love. No worries here.”

“Okay good. Did you want to grab something to eat or do something? It’s my day off today.”

“Uhm,” she glanced at the clock. 11:36 am. “Sure, sounds good. Just give me some time to get ready first and we’ll go do something, yeah?”

“Okay. Text me when you’re ready?”

 

“Sure.” Emily replied before ending the call.

Emily lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to wake up. She glanced over at Katie’s bed and wasn’t surprised to find it empty. After a few minutes, the redhead convinced herself to sit up and get out of bed. Her head felt heavy and her body ached as she stepped into the shower.

 

 //

 

Emily found herself slightly buzzed, her good arm around Jordyn’s shoulder, and watching some shitty action movie in Jorydn’s flat. They had returned from lunch, where Jordyn fervently insisted on paying, and decided to have a few drinks and watch a movie.   
  
“I think I should *hic* get going maybe,” Emily said, retracting her arm from around Jordyn’s small frame. She instantly missed the warm feeling of the small girl tucked into her side.   
  
“Are you sure?” Jordyn giggled in response, “You’re a little hammered.”  
  
“I think I’ll be okay,” the redhead responded, stumbling a bit as she stood up.   
Jordyn reached out to steady her.   
  
“I don’t know, it looks like a storm is coming in. That’s Bristol for you,” Jordyn chuckled, standing up so she was eye level with Emily. “Stay until it passes. Please?” The small girl asked as she stroked the redhead’s cheek.   
  
“Fine,” Emily smiled, leaning into Jordyn’s hand. She could feel the heat in her cheeks but wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol in her system or the small brunette in front of her.   
  
  
  
“Never have I ever had a threesome,” Emily slurred as she spilled a small amount of liquid onto her jeans.   
  
Jordyn smirked and took a sip from her glass. “I was a very adventurous teenager.”  
  
“Oh my god!” Emily laughed as she leaned forward and touched Jordyn’s arm. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

“What do you expect, Fitch?” Jordyn laughed.   
  
The rain continued to pelt the window pane of Jordyn’s flat. It had been an hour and a half since Emily agreed to stay and it didn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. If anything, it seemed to be hitting harder. The faint sound of the DVD menu playing on a loop was in the background.   
  
Emily watched as Jordyn took another drink from her glass. The pale pink liquid slowly drained from the smooth glass, leaving only small ice chips behind. She noticed the freckles on the brunettes face, splashed across her cheeks like a galaxy. Her hazel eyes were glassy from the alcohol, but they were still beautiful. Her pale skin was rosy from drinking. And that damned red lipstick was still flawless.

  
“Hellooo?” Jordyn grinned as she waved her hand in front of the redhead’s face.

 

“Oh-sorry,” Emily whispered burying her face in her hands in an attempt to disguise the blush spreading across her face, making her warmed than she was a few seconds before.

 

“For what, beautiful?” she asked, moving closer towards her.   
  
“Staring,” she responded, peeking between her slim fingers.   
  
“Don’t be,” She whispered, moving the redhead’s hands from her face.   
  
“Okay,” Emily whispered back as she closed her eyes.   
  
“Can I kiss you?” Jordyn asked quietly, letting her lips lightly brush Emily’s cheek.   
  
Emily nodded, her body bursting with warmth at Jordyn’s question.

 

She felt Jordyn’s palm on the side of her neck and her fingers gingerly grasp the back her neck. The redhead’s heartbeat quickened. She could feel Jordyn’s breath on her face. Her stomach was in knots. She could smell the alcohol rolling from Jordyn’s mouth. The rain slammed against the window. She felt the small girl’s lips softly press against her own.   
  
  
  


 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have this Emily/Jordyn fluff because my body cannot handle it and I want to cry because this is the best AU!Ship I’ve ever created and I’m giving myself feels.

The small brunette pulled away from Emily but kept a firm grasp on the back of the redhead’s neck.   
  
Emily opened her eyes, peeking up at Jordyn through her lashes. She could feel her stomach forming knots and her cheeks heating up.   
  
“Come back,” Emily whispered as she bit her lip.   
  
Jordyn smiled so wide that her eyes and nose crinkled. Emily just about fell apart right there on the couch.   
  
Jordyn pulled her closer and pushed her lips against Emily’s again. They smiled as they kissed, creating a sloppy rhythm. Emily grabbed ahold of Jordyn’s waist with her good arm and pulled the brunette onto her lap so she was straddling her. The kisses became more hungry and forceful. Emily’s stomach exploded with butterflies. Jordyn cradled the redhead’s face, making it easier to bring herself closer.

 

And then it was black. Jordyn gasped as she suddenly pulled away. The only sound heard was the rain crashing against the glass.   


“Shh, it’s okay, the storm’s cut the electricity,” Emily soothed as she rubbed Jordyn’s sides.

 

“That scared me so fucking bad,” Jordyn mumbled, trying to catch her breath.   
  
“You’re safe with me,” Emily whispered, leaning her forehead against Jordyn’s.   
  
She could faintly see Jordyn’s smile in the dark as he eyes started to adjust.   
  
“So, got any candles?” she grinned.

 

//

 

A phone vibrating against the coffee table is what startled them. Again.   
  
Emily reached for her phone as Jordyn grumbled. “Pay attention to me,” she whined as Emily sighed at her phone.   
  
“It’s the third time she’s called. It’ll just be a minute, babes.”  
  
Jordyn crossed her arms and pretended to be upset while Emily answered her phone.   
  
“Hey Katie… I’m fine, I’m at Jordyn’s… Yeah the power is out here-no I don’t think I’ll be back tonight,” Jordyn shook her head in agreement and Emily smiled. “I’ll be alright, Kay… tell mum I’m an adult and I don’t have a curfew.” Jordyn giggled as she began to kiss Emily’s neck. “Katie really, I’ll be fine. I’ll be home tomorrow… Okay, bye.”  
  
Emily dropped her mobile on the cushion next to her and leaned her head back against the couch.   
  
“Excuse me,” she smirked as Jordyn continued to plant kisses.   
  
“Hmm?” she breathed against Emily’s neck as she continued.   
  
“What do you think you’re doing?” Emily mused as she bit her lip.  
  
“Playing,” Jordyn quipped as she softly nibbled on her skin.   
  
Emily moaned.   
  
“Found your sweet spot, huh?” Jordyn laughed as she continued to suck on the small patch of skin.   
  
“You’re a tease,” Emily replied as another moan tumbled out of her mouth.   
  
“We’ll see about that,” Jordyn smirked as she got up off couch. “Come with me.”   
  
She reached out for Emily to grab her hand. She picked up the candle from the coffee table and led Emily into her room.   
  
The candle illuminated the room, showing off the double bed that was neatly made. Underneath the window was a small armchair with a bookshelf next to it. Against the wall opposite the bed was a dresser that had a drawer open and clothes piled in front of it.   
  
Jordyn pushed Emily to sit on the bed as she set down the candle on the dresser.   
  
“Now, where were we?” Jordyn purred, walking towards Emily, hips swaying.   
  
Emily grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her onto the bed. Jordyn tucked her arm under the redhead, helping her move up the bed. Their lips connected and Emily could feel her entire body ignite. Their tongues met; she could still taste the vodka. The redhead found a fistfull of Jordyn’s hair and used it to keep the brunette in place.

 

Jordyn slid her hands under Emily’s shirt and clawed at her sides. She pulled Emily into a sitting position and fumbled to remove her shirt. Emily attempted to slide up Jordyn’s shirt as well, until it got stuck to the velcro of her arm brace.   
  
“I’ll get it,” Jordyn laughed as she tugged the fabric from the brace. She dropped the article of clothing on the floor as she admired Emily’s entire body. “I want you so badly,” she whispered under her breath.   
  
“I’m right here,” Emily said through a smile.   
  
“No, I mean.. you. I want you. I want this, and dates, and holidays, and just.. everything. With you. Emily Fitch, I want you. I need you.”

 

Emily sat there, speechless with Jordyn sitting in front of her half clothed.   
  
“You don’t feel the same way,” Jordyn said quietly after a few long seconds. She moved off of Emily’s lap and crossed her arms over her torso, holding her sides. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”  
  
“No!” Emily cried, lifting Jordyn’s chin so she would look at her. “I want this too. It’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve been with someone. And you’re so beautiful. I didn’t think that you’d want me.”  
  
“Look at yourself, Ems. You’re amazing.” Jordyn smiled as Emily kissed her lightly. “So what do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?”   
  
Emily couldn’t stop the smile that eclipsed her face. “Yes!” she exclaimed, pulling Jordyn into a wistful kiss.   
  
“Good,” Jordyn beamed as she pushed Emily back onto the bed.   
  
She kissed her lips, moved to her jaw, then down her neck towards her chest.    
  
“Shh,” she whispered, looking up at Emily while hovering over her navel.   
  
Emily obeyed. Jordyn planted kisses along her tummy, meticulously covering every exposed part of skin. She torturously moved slower the closer her lips got to the redhead’s jeans.   
  
Emily watched as the brunette skillfully unclasped the button to her jeans and started to slide them down her legs. Her eyes closed automatically as she felt Jordyn’s lips make their way up her legs. She took her time again, making sure to kiss every part of skin that she discovered.   
  
Emily could feel the heat between her legs build as Jordyn got closer to her core. Jordyn hooked her fingers underneath the waistband of her knickers and slowly pulled them off of her. The redhead reached out a hand to touch Jordyn.   
  
“Ah, ah, ah. Be a good girl,” Jordyn flirted, before dropping her head between Emily’s legs.

 

//

 

“Be careful with me,” Emily mumbled half asleep.   
  
“I will,” Jordyn mumbled in response, pressing a kiss to Emily’s glistening forehead. “I will.”  
  
The two were tangled together, wrapped up in sheets and blankets. Their clothes littered the floor, the sound of rain colliding with glass.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been over three weeks since she had seen Emily. She was kind of sad about it but also relieved. Seeing Emily that night really hurt her. Even though she came off as confident and not broken, the entire day after she was anxious.

Anxious that's she'd run into her again.

Anxious that Emily would find her and kiss her.

Anxious that'd she'd want Emily to kiss her.

Some part of her wished she would run into her ex at the market or on her way to work. A part of her wished she would come back.

But she knew that she shouldn't think like that; she had Kian. She had this gorgeous man who loved her unconditionally and hadn't left like like Emily did.

 

//

 

The blonde got ready for work while the whirlwind of anxiety that was Emily filled her head. She filled her cup with coffee before planting a kiss on Kian's scruffy cheek.

"I'm gonna head out. What do you want for dinner?" Naomi asked, her slender fingers grabbing her light coat from the closet by the door.

"Pizza?" Kian replied with a small grin.

"You're a child, I swear," she laughed. "I'll be home later. I'll ring you on my way home."

"Yeah," he answered absentmindedly, getting distracted by some cartoon playing on the television.

She admired him silently before closing the door.

 

//

 

"Hey Blondie, Kian says you've been acting kinda strange lately. What's got ya down?" Cook's voice boomed from Naomi's mobile.

"I uh.. I saw Emily a few weeks ago," Naomi replied quietly as she turned down the volume a bit.

"What?!"

"Yeah, that night we all went out to the club and got really smashed. Effy, Katie, and Emily were there. We talked in the bathroom and it was really fucking awkward Cookie," Naomi sighed, twirling her hair. She was feeling anxious again. Her eyes stung slightly and her nose started to burn. She couldn't believe that Emily still has this control over her after over a year.

"Well what'd she say?" She could hear the anger in his voice. Cook was always protective of Naomi.

"That's she's fucking sorry." Naomi sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "She looked like she fucking meant it," her voice cracking on the last word.

"Aw, Naomikins" his voice softened.

"I don't know what to do. I've been trying to not let it bother me but I've been getting panic attacks and Kian probably hates me for it and I feel guilty because I wish I could see her again and I don't know if it's because I want to yell at her or kiss her and I fucking hate it."

Her breathing quickened and her heartbeat sped up. She leaned her head against the cool desk as she tried to slow down her breathing.

The other end of the line was silent.

"Cookie?" Naomi asked quietly, pain in her voice.

"Yeah, uh. Sorry babes, I gotta go. I'll stop by your place later though." And he was gone.

"Fuck," Naomi mumbled to herself as she slammed her phone against the wood of her desk. Pushing her fingers against her eyes she squeezed them shut in an attempt to keep in the tears.

She spent the rest of her shift in a robotic way. She edited the papers that landed on her desk and sent them out without bothering to take a break. She wanted out of the stuffy building and get home where she could sulk in private.

 

//

 

Naomi stepped onto the pavement and set off down the street, hoping that the slight drizzle soft wind would help clear her head. Swiftly, she set her earbuds into her ears and pressed shuffle on her phone. Music filled her ears as she slowly turned the volume up loud enough to drown out her thoughts.

The blonde made her way down the street, blending in with the mob of people heading the same way. It was almost as if her body was on autopilot, not paying full attention to what was happening but enough to stop before crossing the streets and not run into anyone on accident. She almost didn’t see the supermarket that she needed to stop at on her way home.

Mechanically, she grabbed a basket and browsed down the aisles. She picked out some beer and two frozen pizzas, knowing that Kian would probably devour an entire one by himself. She softly smiled to herself, making her way towards the register. Naomi handed the teller some money and said a small thank you as she headed back outside into the gloomy weather. The rain started to pick up a little more as she made her way back to her flat.

She and Kian ate quietly in the living room while Kian laughed at some comedy special that was on. When she was done eating she showered and dried off as she dug through her drawers looking for something to wear to bed. The blonde made a mental note to do laundry soon.

Tucked in the back of her drawer was the shirt she found under the bed after Emily left.  It was then that she noticed how pathetic and small she felt. It was like Emily left her all over again. The anxiety that had nestled itself into her stomach for the past few weeks felt like it imploded.

When Kian found her some time later, she didn’t know how long she had been crying for or how long she sat herself on the floor, folded up and staring at the wall. She didn’t know when she put on Emily’s old t-shirt or even when she fell asleep after Kian tucked her into bed a few moments later.  
  
All she knew is that she still fucking loved that girl.

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Emily's arm had slowly been feeling better. Katie and Jenna's wedding planning was wrapping up and the wedding was a few weeks away so she saw them less than usual. Being at home for so long was making her anxious; she wanted to get back to work but was completely useless with her arm not fully healed.

She used Jordyn to keep her distracted but the brunette was working overtime today. Emily lay in her bed staring at the ceiling as she tried to wake herself up for the day. Her phone vibrated on the table next to her bed.

"Wanna go out tonight?" it was a text from Effy.

The redhead smiled, thankful for the opportunity to have plans. "Yeah, when and where?" Emily typed out.

She got a response a few moments later, "Flames. 10PM. Meet at my place at 8 and we can get started early"

Emily set her phone back down in the table and closed her eyes. She felt her entire body relax as she tried to clear her head. So much had happened in the last few months. She hadn't seen Naomi since she went out. The redhead thought about that night a lot; she didn't say what she needed to say to Naomi. She just let the blonde slip between her fingers and so she let the alcohol slide down her throat instead. Emily had let herself get so fucked up that night that she hardly remembers trying to find her way home and vomiting in an alleyway as Katie helped carry her through the streets.

Emily rose out of her bed before haphazardly pulling her covers up to make it look like she even remotely put in an effort to make her bed. She quietly pulled open her drawers and chose some clean knickers and a bra out. Carefully, the redhead opened the door and padded down the hallway, turning the doorknob to the bathroom. With a click of the lock, the girl turned the handles in the shower and tested out the water before moving the shower curtain closed and peeling off her clothing. Emily looked at herself in the mirror before she stepped into the shower. Her hands rose to her scalp, gently moving her hair to see her roots beginning to show. _I'll have to redye my hair soon,_ she thought with a sigh as she entered the tub.

The water ran across her skin, raising her body temperature slightly. Emily closed her eyes as she rested her head against the cold tile, taking a moment to enjoy the water cascading down her. After a moment, she grabbed some conditioner and lathered it into her hair. Her thoughts began to consume her as she continued to scrub at her scalp. She thought about Jordyn, and how she hadn't seen her in a few days. Her thoughts began to stray and she began to imagine the brunette in the shower with her, Jordyn's hands running down her body as she hummed in appreciation. And then suddenly the brunette became blonde and taller in height and Emily was pushed against the tile with Naomi's hand sliding down to her thigh.

Her eyes opened abruptly. Emily tugged at the shower curtain to ensure she really was alone. She sighed, rinsing her hair and turning off the water. She carefully rung out her hair before grabbing a towel and wiping away the water left on her pale skin. Emily slid on her clean knickers and clasped her bra before she wrapped the towel around her small torso in the off chance James or her father happened to still be home. Quietly, she left the bathroom after gathering her laundry and returned to the room she shared with her twin. Depositing the clothes into a hamper, she found a pair of jeans and an old t shirt, slipping them on and drying her hair with the towel.

Emily made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the counter and a jar of peanut butter from the cabinet. She sliced the apple and spread some peanut butter onto each one. She took a small bite, feeling the apple crunch and the juice splash into her mouth. The redhead pulled her phone out of her pocket and began scrolling through her social media. She saw photos Katie had posted on Instagram from the wedding planning and blurry photos of Effy out partying the night before. Emily chuckled to herself, liking the photos as she continued to scroll through the endless stream of photos. Just then, she heard the front door swing open and her father’s voice boom from inside the house.

  
“You need to bulk up James! You can’t stay a small noodle forever,” her father’s voice exclaimed.  
  
James simply sighed and his footsteps could be heard running up the stairs.  
  
Rob entered the kitchen surprised to see his younger daughter at the table. “Hey there, love” he smiled as he clapped her on the back and stealing one of her apple slices.  
  
“Dad!” Emily pouted as she pulled her plate of apple slices closer to her. “Get your own,” she laughed.  
  
“I haven’t seen too much of you lately,” he replied as he pulled a mug out of the cabinet and poured himself a cup of cold coffee and popped it into the microwave for 30 seconds.  
  
“I’ve tried to be as little of a nuisance as possible,” Emily said, quietly chewing on another bite.  
  
“I love having you around, sweetheart,” Rob furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re no problem. I miss having you around. You didn’t come home for a while after you moved out.”  
  
The younger twin sighed. “Only because Mum didn’t approve of my ‘lifestyle’,” Emily put air quote around the word.

 

“You know your Mum. She’ll get there,” her father replied as he pulled his coffee out of the microwave and poured a small amount of creamer into it and stirred.  
  
“Hopefully,” Emily mumbled, looking down at her phone.  
  
“Don’t worry about her. I love you,” Rob reassured her, planting a kiss on her slightly damp hair.  
  
“Love you too,” Emily smiled back.  
  
Emily’s phone dinged, signalling she had a text message.  
  
“Miss you xx” the text read from Jordyn.  
  
The redhead smiled before typing out that she missed her too. She rose from the table fluidly, rinsing off her plate and returning the jar of peanut butter to the cupboard. Emily went upstairs and began rifling through her bags, looking for her camera. She decided she was going to shoot today.

 

//

 

_Click, click, click._  
  
The redhead lowered the camera from her face. Shaking out her left arm, as she felt it stiffening up, Emily glanced around to see what else she could take photos of. She made her way towards a small pond situated at the edge of the park she was currently in. Smiling, she lightly jogged towards the water, keeping a tight grip on her camera. Excitedly, she lifted the camera to her eyes and began to snap some photos.  
  
“Hey beautiful,” she heard from behind her, which startled Emily and caused her to drop her camera, only for it to be caught by the strap around her neck.  
  
Turning around she saw Jordyn standing there in her scrubs with a coffee in her hand and a bag slung over her shoulder.  
  
“Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me,” Emily breathed, a hand clutching her chest as she chuckled lightly.  
  
“Sorry,” Jordyn smiled, stepping closer and pressing a chaste kiss to the redhead’s lips. “What are you up to?”  
  
“Just… trying to get back into photography before I forget it altogether,” Emily laughed as she momentarily turned back to the pond before looking back at Jordyn.  
  
“Ah, I see. Is it hurting less?” Jordyn replied, taking a sip of her coffee.  
  
“It acts up a little but it feels loads better.” Emily said as she tested her range of mobility.  
  
“Good,” Jordyn smiled at her, “So, I just got off of work. Wanna maybe grab some dinner tonight babe?”  
  
Emily’s heart fluttered at the name. “Uh, actually I have plans with one of my friends. But why don’t you come too? I’m sure she won’t mind much. I think we’re gonna drink some first and then go out to this club.” Emily said, carefully grabbing Jordyn’s free hand.  
  
“Oh, do I finally get to meet some of your friends?” the brunette teased.  
  
“Shut up,” Emily grinned. “Yes.”  
  
“What time should you pick me up?” Jordyn asked, intertwining their fingers.  
  
“I’m meeting with Effy at eight, so 7:30 sound good? It’d give us time to get to her place.” Emily gently pulled Jordyn closer.  
  
“Great,” Jordyn whispered as she leaned into Emily’s lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Emily walked up to Jordyn’s flat in a black tank top, light jeans, and combat boots with a red flannel wrapped around her waist. She knocked on the door lightly and waited for Jordyn to answer. The dark stained door opened to reveal Jordyn clad in a white t-shirt, leather jacket, shorts with fishnets underneath and Dr. Martens on her feet.    
  
“Hi babe,” Jordyn leaned in to kiss Emily, causing the redhead to smile against her lips.   
  
“Hey,” Emily stepped into the flat, “Sorry I’m a bit late. But we should still have time to get to Effy’s before eight.”  
  
“Cool, I just need to finish with my makeup and then we can go, yeah?” Jordyn replied.   
  
Emily nodded, settling onto the couch in the living room as Jordyn left to her bedroom. Emily pulled out her mobile to text Effy and let her know they’d be there soon.   
  
“Ready!” Jordyn shouted some five minutes later.   
  
Emily rose from her seat and walked over to Jordyn. “Gorgeous,” she smirked before kissing Jordyn’s cheek.   
  
“Let’s go,” Jordyn smiled back, slinging a bag over her shoulder and ushering them out of the apartment. She locked her door, dropping her keys in her bag and intertwining her fingers with Emily’s.   
  
It only took fifteen minutes to walk to Effy’s flat and the air was still warm despite it being the middle of October. Their walk was mostly quiet as they swung their hands together. When they arrived at Effy’s flat, they were greeted by two shots shoved towards them and an arm slung around Emily’s shoulders.   
  
“Hey Emilio!” Cook said loudly, pulling Emily in for a hug.   
  
“Oh my god, Cook!” Emily yelled, hugging him back tightly. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”  
  
“I know, I know,” Cook grinned, letting her go. His eyes flicked over to Jordyn. “Who’s this?”  
  
“Oh, uh, Cook, this is Jordyn. Jordyn, this is an old friend Cook. We went to college together,” Emily said, stepping back so she wasn’t in between them.   
  
“Girlfriend?” Cook inquired, cocking his head to the side a bit, looking like a puppy.   
  
Emily swallowed and glanced at Jordyn who smiled in return. “Yeah, actually,” Jordyn said grabbing Emily’s hand.  
  
“Yeah,” Emily added, looking back at Cook and smiling.   
  
“Cool,” Cook replied slowly. “Eff! They’re here,” he turned and yelled towards the bedroom.   
  
“Okay!” Effy shouted back.   
  
“Drink those,” Cook said sternly as he pointed at the shots in each of the girls hands.   
  
“Right,” Emily smirked, tossing back the colourless liquid and feeling it burn down her throat.   
  
She grabbed Jordyn’s empty shot glass and made her way to the kitchen. Jordyn followed her into the kitchen and put her hand on the small of Emily’s back.   
  
“Hey,” she said quietly, trying to catch Emily’s attention.   
  
“Hmm?” Emily looked up at her.   
  
“You okay? You seem a little off,” The brunette asked, now rubbing small circles into her back.   
  
“Yeah,” she exhaled. “Yeah, I’m fine,” Emily said quietly, giving her a small smile. “Want another shot?”  
  
“Sure,” Jordyn said quietly.   
  
“Hey! Me too!” She heard Cook’s voice as he entered the kitchen, pulling the bottle of vodka from the counter and unscrewing the lid.   
  
“Let’s do this,” Jordyn smirked, clinking her shot glass to Emily’s and Cook’s before throwing her head back and swallowing the cold liquid.

 

//

 

Four shots and three pints later, Emily’s head was swimming as she moved to the music with Jordyn.   
  
Effy had returned from the bathrooms to find Cook at the bar, ordering another drink.   
  
“Hey you,” Cook grinned at Effy.   
  
“Where’s Emily?” Effy asked, her eyes scanning the crowd looking for the small redhead.   
  
“Somewhere in that sweaty mass of people,” he said, using his head to point over towards the crowd. “Did ya know Ems was with her?”   
  
“No, I hadn’t met her before tonight,” Effy replied, picking up the glass that was set in front of her.   
  
“Naomi is still hung up on ‘er,” Cook said quietly, taking a gulp of his drink.   
  
“I’m not surprised. She’s been in love with her for ages,” Effy answered as she made eye contact with Jordyn across the crowd.  “A few weeks back, we saw her at the club. Emily tried to talk to her but before I could ask her about it, she was on the piss.”  
  
“Ems messed ‘er up real bad,” Cook clenched his jaw. “Ya shoulda seen ‘er.”  
  
Effy simply looked down at her drink before taking another sip.   
  
“Naoms misses ‘er,” Cook blurted out. “She told me that Ems tried apologisin’ but she didn’t say much else.”  
  
“She still loves her,” Effy said, her eyes flicking up to Cook’s.   
  
“Ya think so?” Cook asked, scratching the back of his head.    
  
“Emily has only ever gotten that drunk when they fought or broke up.”  
  
“I guess so,” Cook replied, finishing his beer and slamming it down on the bar. “Cmon,” he grinned, grabbing Effy’s hand and pulling her out into the crowd.   
  
Emily’s hands ran along Jordyn’s sides, gripping her hips and pulling the brunette closer. Jordyn lifted her head, swaying to the beat.  The redhead planted kisses along her neck, causing a small moan to slip from Jordyn’s lips. Emily smiled as she began to kiss Jordyn.

 

//

 

Naomi sat on the edge of her unmade bed, staring at the wall.   
  
“Babe?” Kian said curiously, stepping into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Hellooo?” he asked again as he opened his drawer. “Naomi,” he said sternly.   
  
“Huh?” Naomi asked startled.   
  
“What’s up with you?” Kian replied annoyed as he pulled on a pair of boxers and dress pants.   
  
“Just tired,” Naomi mumbled as she picked at her nails.   
  
“Have you been ‘tired’ for the past month now? It’s getting old Naoms,” he complained, drying his hair with the towel.   
  
“I’m sorry,” the blonde whispered, blinking back tears. She hadn’t told Kian how depressed she had become. She thought she was doing a good job at hiding it. Or maybe he was just oblivious.   
  
“There’s a party tonight at Flames for Halloween. I was gonna go.” Kian stated. He watched the back of Naomi through the mirror as he buttoned his maroon dress shirt and wrapped a black tire around his neck.   
  
“Yeah? Sounds exciting,” Naomi stretched as she stood up. “We should go,” she continued in a monotone voice.   
  
“Yeah,” Kian sighed. “Please cheer up,” he said as he kissed the side of Naomi’s head before walking into the bathroom.   
  
“Yeah yeah,” Naomi nodded, pulling off her shirt to change for her day off. But then she got an idea.   
  
“Kian?” Noami asked shyly, poking her head into the bathroom.   
  
“Yeah baby doll?” He was styling his hair as he looked at her through the reflection of the mirror.   
  
“How long until you need to be to work?” She asked, walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his torso.   
  
He smirked into the mirror. “About half an hour, why?” he mused as her hands moved further down his body.   
  
“Oh, I don’t know,” she smiled, as he turned around to face her. “Just asking.” He leaned down to kiss her as she began unbuttoning his shirt.   
  
He hummed against her mouth as she pushed the shirt off of his shoulders. He put his hands on her waist, gently squeezing against her hip bones. Kian began kissing down her neck, softly nipping at the skin there. A small moan escaped her lips as he ran his hands lower, tugging on the backs of her thighs as he told her to jump. She obeyed and he spun around to set her onto the counter. He cupped her face, kissing her deeply as he hands moved down to unbutton his pants.

 

//

 

Naomi and Kian arrived at Flames later that night around 9 PM. People were already there and by the time they got in, there was a huge line forming outside. Naomi was dressed as a big pumpkin, much to Kian’s dismay, who was dressed up as a gladiator. They quickly made their way to the bar to order drinks as people bumped into Naomi while they tried to pass. 

  
Naomi gulped her drink down hastily and ordered another.   
  
“Whoa there,” Kian said with a smirk. “Excited, are we?”  
  
“Drink with meee,” Naomi giggled, taking a shot that was set down in front of her.   
  
“Ayy, Blondie! That’s the spirit!,” Cook yelled, ordering a round of shots for them.  
  
“See, Cookie will drink with me then!” Naomi laughed, giving a side hug to Cook who was dressed up as a cowboy. “Where’s Eff at?”   
  
“Oh, uh… she’s somewhere in the mass of people,” Cook replied sheepishly, leaning down so her and Kian could hear him better.   
  
“You okay, Cookie?” Naomi questioned, slightly concerned at the tone of voice he used to answer.   
  
“’Course, Naoms—shots!” Cook yelled again, quickly picking up two shot glasses and downing them one after the other.   
  
Naomi looked at Kian who shrugged and threw his head back. Her eyes flicked back to Cook before she took the shot in her hand.   
  
“Hey, where’s mine?” Effy fake pouted as she came up to the group standing at the bar.   
  
“Nice costume,” Kian smiled, looking Effy up and down.   
  
“What are you?” Naomi laughed as she handed Effy a shot of tequila.   
  
“Murder victim.” Effy deadpanned, accidentally getting some fake blood on the bar.   
  
Cook slung an arm around Effy as she drank down the shot. “Atta girl.”  
  
“Pass me a shot, Cook?” a voice said from behind them. They all turned around and Cook looked like a deer in headlights.   
  
“Here ya go, Jordyn,” Cook replied, handing the zombie girl one of the shot glasses.   
  
She swallowed the shot easily before thanking Cook. “I’m Jordyn,” she directed towards Naomi and Kian.   
  
“Naomi,” the blonde smiled at her before taking another sip of her drink.   
  
“Kian,” he replied coolly. “That wound is crazy, how’d you do that?” Kian said, pointing to the fake bloody gash on the side of her face.   
  
“Make up is a wonderful thing,” she replied with a laugh. “I’m gonna head back to the dance floor. You all wanna join?”  
  
Effy and Cook agreed and began walking out towards the large group of bodies dancing.   
  
“We’ll be a minute,” Kian smiled at her, waiting for his drink to be made.   
  
“Awesome, later,” Jordyn returned the smile before heading off in the same direction as the others.   
  
“Having fun?” Naomi asked Kian, taking another sip of his drink.   
  
“Yeah,” her boyfriend smiled at her as he picked up his new drink. “But the night is still young. Care to dance?”  
  
Naomi grinned as Kian grabbed her hand and led her out to the dance floor. The pair danced for a while with bodies shifting around them until the managed to find Effy and Cook on the dance floor as well.   
  
“More shots?” Cook smiled as he leaned in to be heard easier.   
  
“Yeah man!” Kian responded excitedly. “Come on babe,” he said, tugging on Naomi’s wrist as he headed for the bar.   
  
“You and Blondie find an empty booth an I’ll bring over more booze,” Cook told them happily.   
  
After searching for a few minutes, Kian, Naomi, and Effy found a booth situated near the back of the club. Cook arrived shortly after with a tray of shots for the group as well as Maya.   
  
“Hiii!” Maya squealed, settling in besides Naomi and hugging her.   
  
“I haven’t seen you in ages, where have you been?” Naomi asked her friend.   
  
“Ugh, working and dealing with stupid boys,” Maya sighed, picking up a shot and draining the glass quickly.   
  
“Well, you’re here now, so let’s get smashed,” Naomi yelled so everyone at the table could hear her.   
  
They all picked up their shot glasses and clinked them together before drinking them down. Naomi could really start to feel the alcohol setting in. She knew if she stood up now, she may not be able to stay standing. So she decided to sit there and chat with Maya but she was more focused on Kian’s hand resting on her thigh and slowly inching upwards.   
  
“Cook,” she heard a familiar voice ring out. Puzzled, Naomi looked up but couldn’t locate who had called out for her best friend. She saw arms wrapped around his neck as he stood up to greet whoever they were. “Where’s Jordyn?” the blonde heard the same voice ask. Her head was fuzzy now and she kept trying to place the voice. It wasn’t until Cook took a step back to reveal her that Naomi knew.   
  
Emily was here, right in front of her again. She was so close she could stand up and reach her hand out and touch her. Emily was right in front of her and she was asking for Jordyn instead of her.   
  
Her head was still buzzing and all she wanted to do was hold the redhead again. She hardly heard her own voice as she called for her.   
  
“Hey Ems.”


	13. Chapter 13

"Kay, how long does it take to get ready? We're already running late," Emily whined as she sat on her bed, her fingers nervously playing with the skirt settled on her thighs.

"One minute, I'm almost done," the older twin called out from the bathroom.

Frustrated, Emily stood up again to check herself out in the mirror. She smoothed down her skirt and used her index and ring finger to smudge the makeup on her face, making her appear dirtier than before.

"Ready," Katie announced as she entered their shared bedroom adorned in an angel costume.

"Does my costume look okay? Do I actually look like a pirate?" The redhead asked, suddenly becoming nervous that she looked stupid.

"You look fine, lets go!" Katie reassured her as she tugged on Emily's arm.

"Wait, I'm leaving my phone here in case I get too fucked tonight. I don't want to lose it," Emily laughed as she set her phone on her bedside table. "Alright, I'm ready," she girl smiled, hooking her arm with her twin's as they left their childhood home.

 

//

 

"You know, I'm thinking about moving back to Bristol," Emily said quietly as they sat in the back seat of a cab.

"Thank god, you'll finally get out of my flat," Katie snickered as she bumped Emily with her shoulder.

"You'll miss me!" The younger twin laughed as she looked down at her hands.

"Is it because of Jordyn?" Katie asked after a moment.

"Kind of," Emily responded quietly. "I think it will be good for me though. I want to get back into photography. And I forgot about how much there is to shoot here."

"Well you can always crash at my place if you need to. And I'll be sure to stay at your flat instead of mum and dads when I'm here on business," Katie smiled at her younger sister.

"Deal," Emily smiled back. It was rare that the two got along as well as they were now, but she was glad for it.

They sat in silence for the rest of the short ride to Flames. When the cab pulled up to the building, Katie pulled a few notes from her breasts and tossed them at the driver while Emily thanked him quietly as she scooted out of the vehicle.

"Hey Jack," Katie flirted as she stepped up to the bouncer at the door. "Mind if we go in?" The older twin asked as she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"Go on through," Jack smirked as he rolled his eyes. "Have a good time."

"Thank you!" Katie stood on her tippy toes to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Get outta here," the boy laughed, lightly pushing Katie through the door.

Emily flashed a quick smile at Jack as she quickly entered behind Katie. She was instantly hit by a wave of sound and the smell of sweat and alcohol. She could feel the bass reverberating in her chest.

"I'll catch up with you," Katie said distractedly as she eyed a blond boy smirking at her from the bar.

"Alright," the redhead sighed, looking around for someone she recognised. The large amount of people made it hard for her to make out individual faces. Slowly, she began skirting around bodies in an attempt to find her friends.

The amount of people in the club made it hard to push through with her small frame, but she somehow managed to keep upright. Leaning up on her toes, Emily found a break in shoulders that had clouded her vision. She saw messy brown hair that could only belong to Cook.

"Cook!" She called out as she pushed through the last few costume clad (or lack thereof) girls. She saw Cook turn his head towards the sound of his name and rise from the booth with a smile on his face.

"Emily," the boy responded, pulling the small redhead in for a hug as her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Where's Jordyn at?" Emily asked as she pulled back from the hug.

"Oh, uh," stammered as she looked around for Jordyn. "I haven't seen her for a-"

"Hey Ems."

Emily's head shot towards the source of voice only to reveal Naomi, who sat in the booth with a sad smile on her face. Her heart ached seeing the blonde, both because she missed her and because the smile didn't make her eyes sparkle the way her name used to.

"Oh, hi Naomi," Emily mumbled, rubbing the back her neck with one of her hands. The brown haired boy sitting next to her was looking at Naomi like she was the only person there, which made Emily's heart ache a little more. She quickly decided they must be together.

"I'm gonna go look for Jordyn," Emily told Cook as she turned around to scout the crowd.

"Ya, sure," Cook responded, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Emily pushed back into the crowd of people, trying to get as far away from the booth as possible. After a few minutes of searching, Emily gave up on her search, deciding she needed a drink. She made her way to the bar, spotting Katie twirling her hair and giggling at the same blond.

The younger twin tapped her fingers on the wooden bar counter as she waited for her drink.

"Heard you were looking for me, cutie," she heard Jordyn's familiar voice whisper as arms encircled her waist.

"I was," Emily grinned as she turned in Jordyn's arms.

"Found me," Jordyn smirked, leaning in to press a kiss to Emily's forehead.

"Don't get make up all over you!" The redhead laughed, kissing Jordyn's lips instead.

"I think I'll survive."

"I really like your costume," Emily said as she grabbed the drink the bartender sat down in front of her.

"I'm glad. You look pretty hot as a pirate," the brunette smirked as she settled a hand in Emily's hip.

"Oh really?" Emily questioned, leaning in for a kiss as Jordyn hummed in agreement against her lips.

"So I met a few of your other friends, I think. Naomi and Kian?" Jordyn questioned as she trapped Emily's straw between her teeth and took a sip of the drink.

Emily felt her stomach tighten at the words. She didn't want Jordyn to meet Naomi, nor did she even want her current girlfriend to know about her ex girlfriend. "I've never met Kian," Emily carefully responded, trying to keep her voice even.

"Oh, you should. He's pretty cool I think. And he likes Fireball like I do," the brunette smiled.

"Yeah, maybe. Dance with me?" Emily could feel the panic settling in her chest and was grateful for the distraction when Jordyn agreed and led her out to the dance floor.

 

//

 

Cook was giving Naomi a look but she was too zoned out to really notice him, let alone Kian trying to get her attention with his hands. Emily was here in the same club. She talked to Cook. She asked for Jordyn.

Jordyn. The pretty brunette that he had met earlier. The girl she took shots with was probably the same girl that held Emily the way she used to. And it made her feel nauseous.

It made her want to drown the sinking feeling in her stomach with alcohol. So against her better judgement, she stood up abruptly, immediately feeling the alcohol that was already in her system. Her head felt light and she barely heard Kian ask what she was doing.

"I'm, uh, gonna go get another drink," Naomi slurred a little, focusing hard on enunciating the words clearly.

"Want me to come with ya?" She could see that his eyes were starting to gloss and he was a few drinks away from being completely wasted.

Naomi simply shook her head and began stumbling through the crowd, trying to find the bar before Kian could try and follow. She forgot which direction it was in so she focused on finding the edge of the dance floor instead. After being tossed around by a few people, she made her way out of the large crowd and saw a door that opened to a patio.

She stepped outside and basked in the feeling of clean air in her lungs. There were others outside, smoking and rubbing their hands together to keep warm in the cold autumn air.

"Mind if I get one?" Naomi asked a short brunette who had a cigarette hanging from her lips.

"Sure," the girl replied, rummaging through her purse and pulling out a box and shaking it out and producing a cigarette before handing it to Naomi.

"Thanks," She mumbled, settling the cigarette between her lips as the brunette procured a lighter.

Naomi inhaled the smoke, feeling it travel down to her lungs, held it for a few seconds, then let it escape through her nose. She leaned against the small half wall that ran along the edge of the patio, feeling her body calm a little bit, but she could still feel the weight in her chest that had settled there once she saw Emily.

She wanted to stop seeing her everywhere. She wanted to stop thinking about her. She wanted to stop  _wanting_ her. Emily had left her and moved on and so had she. She  _needed_  to stop wanting her. So instead she wanted to drink.

Stubbing out her cigarette and discarding it in the ashtray by the door, Naomi made her way back into Flames. The music and smell of the club hit her at the same time, causing her to blink a few times before finding the bar, where she ordered two shots for herself.

"You alright?" Naomi heard from beside her and she snapped her focus towards it, seeing Effy standing next to her.

"Jesus, Eff, you startled me."

"Sorry. You didn't answer my question," Effy answered, taking a drink from the bottle in her hand.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, I suppose. Just kinda anxious," Naomi responded, grabbing one of the small glasses that was placed down in front of her.

"It's Emily, isn't it?"

"Of course it's Emily," Naomi said a little frustrated, setting the now empty shot glass on the bar top. "It's always Emily."

"You still love her," Effy replied, staring straight into Naomi's eyes. She used to do that when they were in college and Naomi hated it. Hated how she always knew how she felt. Effy always knew everything.

"I love Kian."

"Do you? You're here at the bar getting even more pissed now that you've seen Emily here," Effy said, pointing to the second shot glass that Naomi now had in her hand. "Just like Emily did when you saw her at the club last time."

"Wait, what?" Naomi sputtered as she spilled some of the alcohol down her chin. "What do you mean like Emily did?"

"She came out of the bathroom after talking to you and got fucked up before I could start to ask her what you two talked about. She doesn't really remember anything else from that night."

Naomi ran her hand through her hair, trying to take in the information she just received. "I didn't think she'd be so upset."

"She was. And we went out the other day... She seemed off after she saw Cook for the first time since she left."

"Do you think she still loves me?" Naomi said just loud enough for Effy to hear her over the music.

"I think you both still love each other. Figure something out," Effy said, finishing her drink and walking off, leaving Naomi with an empty shot glass in her hands and tears pricking her eyes.

The music was echoing in her chest and she could feel the alcohol clouding her system. She could also feel her girlfriend's hands on her waist and her own hips moving in rhythm to the music.

"I'm gonna go to the restroom, meet me back at the bar?" Emily heard Jordyn's voice in her ear.

Emily nodded in response and headed towards the bar to order drinks for Jordyn and herself. While she was waiting, Emily looked towards the bathroom, looking for any sign of Jordyn. Instead she saw Naomi, clad in her pumpkin costume. The familiar sinking feeling in her stomach came back as she look at Naomi who was leaned against the bar with a sad look on her face.

"Er, hey," Emily called out, moving so she was next to Naomi.  _What are you doing, Emily?_

"Oh! Hi Emily," the words tumbled out of her mouth as she looked down at the bar top.

"Are you okay?"

"'Course I am," the blonde chanced a look up at her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You have that look on your face that you get when you're upset about something but don't want to tell me." Emily watched Naomi still at the words before realising what she had said and rushed out, "I mean, you just look sad is all."

"It's nothing, Emily. I'm okay. Just waiting for another drink."

"Me too," Emily countered, looking towards the crowd in an attempt to find Jordyn.

"She's nice," Naomi replied softly. "Jordyn, I mean. I talked to her earlier tonight."

"Yeah. Yeah, she's a good one."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Not very long, about a month, maybe," Emily said just loud enough for Naomi to hear. She realised that she felt guilty, standing at the bar talking to Naomi about her new girlfriend. Her throat felt dry and she mentally yelled at the bartender for taking so long with her drink. "What about you and Kian?"

Naomi looked surprised. "Nine months or so."

Emily simply nodded, growing more impatient, whether that be due to the fact she could feel her self sobering up or the impending ball of anxiety tugging at her stomach.

"You look happy, Em," Naomi added, looking Emily square in the eye. And that's when Emily gave way.

"Listen Naomi, it's not that you weren't making me happy. I was scared and lost and I didn't want to drag you down with me. I was afraid of hurting you more than I already had," the words came tumbling from her mouth. She wasn't sure how to remedy what she had destroyed long ago.

"So you left without even saying goodbye? For fucks sake Emily, I came home to an empty flat. You fucking vanished," Naomi was standing straight up now.

"I thought it was best," Emily responded dejectedly, her voice cracking as she mumbled out an, "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you just tell me how you were feeling?"

"I don't know! I was scared and confused and-"

"You broke my heart, Emily."

Emily could feel her throat close and her eyes began to sting as she let Naomi's words fill her head. Swallowing hard, Emily managed to let out a quiet, "I know. I don't expect you to ever forgive me. But I am sorry for what I did to you. I thought it would be better in the long run..."

Emily chanced a glance up at Naomi who was standing in front of her, arms crossed, and silent tears pulling down her cheeks.

"I'm so mad because I still love you. I never stopped loving you. I've tried everything I could to stop having feelings for you," Naomi cried, wiping at her tears with the palms of her hands.

"I'm really sorry Naoms," Emily tried to comfort her but Naomi's breathing continued to get more ragged and Emily could tell that she was close to having a full blown panic attack. "Hey, hey," she continued, carefully reaching out to lay a comforting hand on the blonde's biceps.

Naomi started to cry more, raising her hands to hide the tears that fell.

"Come on, let's get you some fresh air," Emily continued, setting a hand on the small of Naomi's back and leading her out to the patio.

Outside presented itself to be significantly quieter and Emily took the opportunity to whisper another, "I'm sorry," to Naomi.

Naomi continued to silently cry and attempt to steady her breathing as Emily ran a hand up and down her back. After a few minutes Naomi's breathing evened out and she looked at Emily sheepishly.

"Sorry for everything I said. We're both in relationships and seemingly happy and I shouldn't have said anything at all. But thanks for keeping me going into a panic."

"I still care about you, you know. That never stopped. I uh, actually tried to go back and see you after a while. But you had moved out. And your number changed," Emily admitted, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand.

"Did you expect me to stay in our old flat alone?" Naomi scoffed, carefully wiping her eyes without smudging her mascara.

"Er, no, I guess not," Emily whispered.

"Whatever, let's go back inside. I need to find Kian, he's probably worried," Naomi sighed, turning towards the door.

"Wait," Emily exhaled, grabbing Naomi's wrist. "I just... wanted to let you know that I never stopped loving you either. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I'm sorry. Again."

The blonde nodded before opening the door and stepping inside. Groaning, Emily followed her inside and began to look for Jordyn.

The shots kept coming and the music didn't stop. And neither did the eye contact Naomi kept shooting at Emily. Maybe it was the alcohol that made her feel fuzzy and made her keep looking for the blonde even when her girlfriend was pressed up against her. Naomi had said that she still loved her. And Emily, albeit guilty, felt the same. But that had to be the alcohol, right? The alcohol was what made her look for Naomi every time she looked away from Jordyn. And it was the alcohol that made the sensation in her stomach explode whenever she looked up to see Naomi already looking at her. Yes, those last two shots of Fireball are definitely what made the floating feeling in her body and the butterflies in her stomach happen.

And suddenly she felt Jordyn pull away from her, and she faintly heard her girlfriend tell her that she was going to go get some air outside, because the moment Jordyn stopped talking, Emily found her self locked in a stare with Naomi from across the room.

The club had cleared out a little as the clocked passed midnight, making it easier to see across the dance floor, resulting in drunken eye contact with her ex since they came in from the patio. Emily could see Naomi's boyfriend was wasted, probably more wasted than Emily, but she was also small and he was tall, taller than Naomi. And also muscular. And relatively attractive. They looked okay together; both attractive people, but Emily would be lying if she said Kian and Naomi were cuter than she and Naomi once were.

Emily found herself at the bar again, ordering another shot only to realise after the bartender left that her mouth was numb, indicating that she shouldn't be drinking any more. But no one else had to know that. And Emily wanted another shot to drown the fireworks still going off in her stomach. So when the glass was placed down in front of her a minute later, she threw liquid back, feeling it slide down her throat smoothly.

She turned back out towards the dance floor to look for Jordyn but, surprise, found herself looking at Naomi instead, who looked like she was talking to Kian. And a few seconds later, Kian turned and walked off towards the restrooms, leaving Naomi alone for the first time since they left the patio. That's when Emily got the overwhelming urge to touch Naomi.

So the redhead willed herself to push her legs forward and after a short period of time, Emily found herself standing in front of Naomi, staring into her blue eyes. She couldn't figure out what she saw when she looked at them, but she knew it wasn't anger or sadness.

"Hello? Emily?" Naomi quipped, waving her hand in front of Emily lightly.

"Hi," Emily breathed.

"Did you need something?" Naomi joked, a slight smirk on her face. Emily half wondered how drunk Naomi was, because she knew that Emily should probably be in bed within the next hour and a half. Her body was swaying and her brain was telling her to reach out for Naomi.

Suddenly, Emily's hand was on Naomi's neck and their faces were only a few inches apart. She could taste the vodka and cranberry that the blonde had finished earlier.

Her eyes flicked from Naomi's lips up to her eyes only to see Naomi looking at her, lips parted slightly, and sliding her hand onto Emily's waist.

"Stop me if you don't want to," Emily cautioned, moving in slightly before she felt Naomi pull her in to close the small space between their lips.


	14. Chapter 14

"Kian, please stop," Naomi sighed, irked that her boyfriend continued to try and paw at her all night, despite her protests.

"You're no fun," he grumbled in response, taking a swig of his drink.

The blonde shot him a look, annoying Kian even more.

"I'll be back," Kian announced, draining his glass and heading off towards the restrooms.

Naomi was spent and she wanted to go home. She didn't want to be here with Emily and Kian, especially not after she let it slip that she still loved Emily in a fit of anger. And to make things worse, Emily said the same thing. She still loved her too, and she found herself catching sight of Emily when she didn't mean to. But most of the time, she found Emily looking right back at her.

And Emily was suddenly in front of her now, startling her as she stood on the dance floor. But Emily didn't say anything and was staring at her, making Naomi feel slightly awkward.

"Hello? Emily?" she asked, trying to get the redhead's attention.

And she did. Emily shook her head slightly, hardly even noticeable. "Hi."

It was cute. She felt herself her mouth pull upwards. "Did you need something?"

Emily was swaying a little, causing her to fall forward slightly, but caught herself by planting her hand on Naomi's neck. They were a lot closer than they were ten seconds ago and the blonde could feel her cheeks heating up. It was obvious that Emily was staring at her lips and she could see her pupils dilating due to the proximity of the redhead's face. But Emily was swaying again, so she reached out a hand to steady the small girl.

"Stop me if you don't want to," she heard the words slip from Emily's lips. And so she decided right then that she had spent too long without kissing her.

Naomi leaned forward, pushing her lips down to Emily's, andwow, she missed this. So she stayed there, feeling Emily deepen the kiss by tugging on her neck. They fell into a sloppy rhythm, Emily probably because she was too drunk to stand up straight, and Naomi because she had missed this so much that she didn't want to stop now. But then she heard it.

"What the fuck?!" a gruff voice shouted. Naomi recognised it as Kian, immediately pulling apart from Emily and looking towards where Kian was standing.  _Fuck, fuck, fuck, no._

"Kian, I can explain," Naomi begged, reaching out to grab his arm.

"No," he sneered, backing up so he was just out of her reach, but stumbled as he did so. Some of those around them stopped dancing to watch the shouting. "Do you even know this girl?"

"I-yeah-Kian please just let me explain," Naomi insisted. She could feel everyone staring at her and it only made her want to run away faster.

"No! Fuck you, get away from my girlfriend," Kian shouted now, stepping forward and shoving Emily so she fell back into the group forming around them.

"Kian!" Naomi yelled, stepping in between them in an attempt to stop this from escalating more than it already had.

"Get off of me," he growled, ripping his arm from her hold which caused her to trip backwards as well. "I'm leaving," he continued, shaking his head and stomping towards the door.

"Kian, please just talk to me," she begged, but he was already headed out the door. "Fuck," she mumbled mostly to herself. "What the fuck are you all looking at?" Naomi yelled at the crowd that was still staring at her.

She exhaled heavily and managed to push her way outside to the patio, hardly seeing Jordyn pass her on her way back inside. All she felt was guilt. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to kiss Emily. Kian  _definitely_  was not supposed to see her kiss Emily. She wasn't supposed to ruin Emily's new relationship. Or her own. Everything was fucked up and it was all her fault. She's the one who leaned in. She's the one who didn't stop it. She's the one who told Emily she loved her.

The door opened behind her and she turned around to see Maya walking towards her.

"What happened back there?" Maya asked. Her face was pretty neutral but Naomi could hear the accusation in her voice.

"Kian saw me kiss Emily," Naomi grumbled, putting her face in her hands and dropping to sit on the cold ground. There were a few people milling around the patio still, not paying attention to the pair of girls.

"Wait, ex Emily?" Maya piped up, moving to sit next to Naomi on the ground.

"Yeah, she's here and earlier I was at the height of my drunkenness and I may have angrily told Emily that I still love her."

"Damn."

"Kian's pissed, obviously. He left, I think."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I saw Cook run out after him."

"Ugh, what do I do?" Naomi asked, rubbing her face. It was cold outside, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

"I dunno," Maya whispered, slinging an arm around Naomi's shoulder. "You really fucked up, kid."

 

//

 

Emily's arm ached from catching herself. She instantly regretted not wearing the sling. Jordyn was going to scold her. And not just for hurting herself again. Or she could just.. not tell her about the kiss. She was certain that she wasn't inside to see it. Emily managed to untangle herself from the group of bodies that surrounded her and stalked off towards an empty table while carefully rubbing her elbow.

"Hey," Jordyn called out to her, walking up behind Emily.

"Oh, er, hi," Emily answered, avoiding direct eye contact.

"I'm getting kinda tired, wanna head out? I also work tomorrow, so it would probably be a good idea for me to get to bed before 2 am," she grinned.

"Actually, I think I'm just gonna go home."

Jordyn's smile faltered. "Oh. I just thought maybe you'd want to spend the night."

"Not tonight. I'll walk you home though?"

"Sure," Jordyn replied, turning for the door.

The pair walked the short distance to Jordyn's flat, hardly talking at all. The air was cold, as the autumn air became cooler as the days progressed. They stopped outside of the brick building and Jordyn turned to face Emily.

"Is everything okay, Em?" the brunette asked, concern filling her face.

"Yeah, just tired," Emily lied, looking down at the side walk.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"'Course," Emily forced a small smile as she glanced up at her girlfriend. "I'll call you tomorrow," she promised, pressing a kiss to Jordyn's forehead.

"Goodnight," Jordyn sighed before turning towards the front door of her building.

"Night," Emily mumbled in response. She waited for Jordyn's kitchen light to turn on, signalling she was inside, before she left for her own house.

Emily quietly entered her childhood home, pulled off her clothes, and cleaned off her costume make up before crawling into her bed. Katie didn't come home that night and Emily figured she was probably hooking up with that boy from the bar. Come to think of it, she hardly saw Katie all night. She decided to shoot both Katie and Jordyn a text to inform them she was at home and in bed. Looking back, she had sobered up quick after Naomi kissed her. She could still feel Naomi's lips on hers. And she hated the way it made her feel; excited and guilty. She never wanted to be this person. She never wanted to be a cheater. She remembered how it felt with Naomi told her about Sophia. She had forgiven her for it, but it still hurt. Now she was doing the same to Jordyn. It made her feel sick.

Before she knew it, she was up and in the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach, unsure of if it was the alcohol that was causing the reaction or the guilt twisting her stomach. She padded down the stairs and filled a glass with water from the tap. She drank half of it along with an aspirin before refilling the glass and heading back upstairs. Her foot landed on the squeaky stair and she mentally scolded herself before getting back into bed. She closed her eyes and tried to not to think too much about what had happened earlier.

She awoke around 8 am to a, "good morning xx" text from Jordyn but decided to silence her phone in an attempt to silence the pounding in her head thanks to the copious amount of alcohol she consumed the night before. She woke again at 10 am when Katie loudly entered their shared room.

"You're so loud," Emily groaned, pulling her pillow over her face to muffle the cacophony that Katie created in her haste.

"Sorry, I'm late for work! Mum is going to kill me," Katie complained, pulling on a blazer and attempting to fix her mascara in a rush. "But I gotta go, I have to tell you about Nick!"

She left the room almost as quickly as she had entered and Emily thankfully welcomed the quiet that came with her older twin leaving for work. She just wanted to lay in bed and stop the groggy feeling that controlled her body. The ruckus that Katie made kept Emily from falling back asleep so she decided to try and let her body adjust to the sunlight that filtered through her curtain. After a while, the grogginess subsided a little and she began to look through her social media. She scrolled through photos of friends dressed up for Halloween, alcohol, and videos of poorly made decisions. She laughed to herself, thankful she left her phone at home the night before so she couldn't take regretful photographs. After running out of feeds to keep up with, she decided to text back Jordyn. Emily gingerly tapped on the messages app and opened the text Jordyn had sent her a few hours before. She typed out a few different messages before erasing them and staring at her phone, debating whether or not to tell her about the kiss. She was sure she'd find out eventually. But over text didn't seem right. And she wasn't sure if she was ready to lose Jordyn yet. She wanted to be selfish and keep her around for as long as she could, even if that meant lying for a while.

So she decided on, "Hey Kitten, I just woke up. Hope work is going well(: xx" and tried to get up while inflicting the least amount of pain possible to herself.

Emily managed to keep herself upright and stumbled into the shower before pulling on a shirt, jeans, and a pair of vans. She quickly tousled her hair with a towel to get the extra water out and grabbed her camera that she kept tucked away in her suitcase. She did a quick look over of her camera and made sure she had everything she needed before she left her house.

Emily walked around Bristol for a while before she decided to get some lunch because she was still feeling groggy. She stopped in at a small café and ordered a light sandwich and coffee. She picked at the sandwich while flipping through the newspaper someone had left on the table she was sitting at. After two cups of coffee, Emily left to scout out the optimal place to shoot some photos. She snapped away, losing herself in her own world as she continued to take photos. She was seeing the world through her camera lens and she pushed away everything that was bothering her. It was just Emily and her focus. It was a few hours until Emily decided she had enough photographs. She was thrilled to get back to the house and start editing the photos she had and to update her portfolio if she planned on moving back to Bristol. Before she got hurt she was in a paid internship but because of her injury, she missed out on the last two weeks and the end of the internship.

Emily made her way back to the Fitch household and greeted her dad who was planted in front of the television. He mumbled something she didn't catch in response as he was too focused on the football match playing in front of him. She opened her laptop that sat on her desk and plugged in her headphones and listened to music as she plugged in her camera and opened them up. She lost herself again, picking out the photos she thought was best and tried to figure out which ones to switch out with the others that she used in her portfolio.

It wasn't until Katie returned home and tapped Emily on the shoulder to get her attention.

"Hey K, just get home?" Emily questioned, pulling out her headphones.

"Yes and I have a really big favour to ask you," Katie replied, pulling her face in to the best puppy eyes she could muster.

"Oh no... what is it?"

"Our photographer pulled out of the wedding and it's this Sunday," Katie explained.

"That's two days away," Emily groaned.

"I know! But it pays really well and I know you wanted to start shooting again. It looks like you actually have," Katie said looking towards Emily's camera laying next to her laptop on the desk.

"How much?"

"$5,000," Katie grinned, knowing that would be enough to convince her twin.

"Fine," Emily grinned back, seeing Katie's stress visibly lessen. "Do we have time to meet with the couple before the wedding to know what they want?"

"Yeah, I'm meeting with them tomorrow and we can talk about it then,"

"Katie!" Mrs. Fitch yelled while knocking on the door. "Did you ask her?"

"I already said yes, Mum!" Emily replied loud enough for her to hear through the door.

The door burst open and her mother wrapped her arms around her youngest daughter, thanking her over and over. It was the most affectionate her mother had been in years and it started Emily.

"No problem, Mum. It's no big deal," Emily responded, her voice muffled by the hug she was still trapped in.

 

//

 

Emily kept working on her portfolio and going through her photos for a while until she heard her stomach grumble. Realising she hadn't eaten since noon, she stretched as she stood from her desk and pulled out her phone from her pocket.

She had 12 missed calls, 3 voice mails, and 5 new texts from Jordyn.

Panicking slightly, she unlocked her phone and checked the texts first.

**(12:12 pm) _Em, answer your phone_**

**(1:30 pm) _This is really important_**

**(1:44 pm) _Please answer, I need to talk to you_**

**(1:52 pm) _Em_**

**(2:18 pm) _Call me ASAP_**

She checked her call log next, seeing the most recent call was only twenty minutes ago. It was 5:50 pm now. After reading the texts she felt scared. She could feel an odd sinking feeling in her knees so she sank down onto her mattress as she played the most recent voice mail but it only echoed what her girlfriend had texted her earlier: to call her as soon as she got her messages.

Emily exhaled slowly as she tapped on Jordyn's contact info and waited for her to answer.

"Emily," Jordyn breathed out, sounding relieved.

"Sorry babe, my phone was on silent all day and I just saw everything. Are you okay?" Emily hardly realised that her voice was shaking.

"I know you don't really know him, but Kian is here in the hospital in the Critical Care Unit. He's in a pretty bad condition. I don't think he's going to make it," Emily could hear Jordyn's voice crack.


	15. Chapter 15

Naomi left with Maya about an hour after the kiss. She didn't want to go back to her shared flat with Kian. She wasn't ready for that fight. So Maya called for a taxi and helped her best friend into the backseat of the car. When they got home, Maya offered Naomi some clean clothes to sleep in as well as an aspirin and a glass of water. They slept in the same bed but Maya fell asleep first, leaving Naomi to stare at the ceiling and sulk as her night kept replaying in her mind.

Eventually, the blonde fell asleep and didn't wake until she heard Cook's loud voice come from the living room, asking where Naomi was. Naomi rolled over, trying to will herself to fall back asleep. Her head still hurt from crying. The door squeaked open and Naomi felt the bed sink next to her where Cook sat down.

"Hey," Cook said softly, reaching out for the blonde and stroking her hair.

"I'm tired," Naomi mumbled into the pillow she was crushing to her body.

"Okay," Cook didn't push her. He saw what happened last night. "Get back to sleep."

Cook waited until the blonde's breathing evened out and he knew for certain that she was asleep. He planted a kiss on her messy hair and left the room, quietly shutting the door.

 

//

 

Naomi's phone vibrated so loudly on the end table next to Maya's bed that she jolted awake. Squinting at her brightly lit phone in the dark room, she took in the time, 12:49 pm, and also the name that was displayed on her phone: Ali. Kian's little sister.

Naomi hesitantly answered the call, nervous that Kian told her what happened the night before.

"Hello?"

"Naomi? It's Ali." Naomi could hear panic in her voice. "Kian's in the hospital."

The blonde's throat went dry. "What?" She tried to swallow the lump that had formed.

"Mum got a call right now and they said he's in critical condition and he might not make it. We're on our way now. They also said they hadn't contacted anyone else and I'm guessing you didn't know." The young girl was on the verge of a break down; she could hear the wavering in her voice.

"Which one? I'll head over now," Naomi asked, pulling on an old pair of jeans she had left at Maya's.

"Southmead."

"Okay. I'll text you when I get there," she was throwing her hair up in a bun. "And Ali?"

"Yeah?"

"It's going to be okay."

"Okay."

Naomi ended the call and grabbed her bag, heading for the door.

"Whoa, where are you going?" Maya called out as Naomi opened the front door.

"Kian's in the hospital; I gotta go."

 

//

 

The blonde rushed to the front counter and waited for an available nurse to get to her.

"How can I help you today?" a tall red-headed woman asked with a polite smile on her face.

"My boyfriend," Naomi gasped, out of breath from running. "Kian Reid."

"One moment," the nurse replied and began typing at the computer. She looked up with worry in her eyes. "He's in critical care. He's not allowed visitors at the moment. But you can take a seat. Unfortunately, we can't disclose any information unless you are family or next of kin."

"His mum and little sister are driving in from out of town. They should be here within the next hour."

"We can talk with them and discuss options as well as potentially visiting him. But for now, there's not a whole lot we can do for you. I'm sorry," the nurse explained politely.

"Okay. Thanks," Naomi replied, feeling defeated.

She made her way to the waiting area and sat down. She picked at the loose thread that hung off the bottom of her borrowed shirt. She felt guilty. Her eyes stung with tears. She had hurt Kian and he somehow ended up in the hospital. In critical condition. And Ali said he might not make it. Ali. She remembered she had to call Ali.

She gingerly pulled her phone from her pocket and pulled up her call log, tapping on Ali's name.

"Hey Ali, I just got to Southmead," Naomi sighed, putting her face in her free hand.

"We're almost there. Maybe another twenty minutes. Have you seen him?" Ali asked eagerly.

"No... no, they won't let me see him because I'm not family. I have to wait until you get here."

Ali took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Did they tell you what happened?" Naomi felt small. She felt like throwing up.

"No, just that he was there," Ali answered.

"Okay. Well I'll be in the waiting room when you get here. Be safe."

"I will. We'll be there soon," Ali said before ending the call.

Naomi hated feeling this way. She knew it was her fault. She knew he probably hated her.

 

//

 

Ali and Deb, Kian's mum, arrived soon after. Naomi stood as soon as she saw them and Ali ran into Naomi's arms while crying. She hadn't seen the girl for a few months, and they were both upset that they had to meet again under these circumstances. Deb walked over and rubbed her hand along her daughter's back soothingly.

"I'm gonna go talk to a nurse," Deb spoke up before walking towards the front desk.

"He's going to be okay," Naomi tried to console the seventeen year old in her arms. She desperately wanted to believe he'd be okay.

Deb returned and told the girls that they were allowed to see him. The same nurse from before was waiting to take them back to his room.

The three women walked silently to the lift that took them to the 5th floor. As they arrived to his room, 521, she disclosed that he was unconscious and that he was pretty beat up. Naomi took a deep breath before she entered the room behind Ali and Deb.

Kian was lying in the hospital bed with his eyes closed, mouth slightly open, and wires attached to him. His head was bandaged and gauze was wrapped around his skull to keep it in place. He also had a black eye and a split lip. Any other injury he had was covered by the blanket that was pulled up to his chest. There was a faint beeping coming from the machine that was monitoring his heartbeat.

The sight of him instantly brought Naomi to tears. She should have been with him last night. She shouldn't have let this happen. She shouldn't have kissed Emily. Naomi sat in a chair placed in the corner of the room and did her best to calm down. Deb placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and tried to tell her it would be okay.

 

//

 

Naomi stayed in the chair while Ali and Deb went to drop off their things at the flat. Naomi offered to let them stay while they were down. She gave them her key and stayed with Kian, silently praying that he would be okay.

Naomi rose from her seat to go and buy a coffee from the cafeteria in an attempt to keep herself awake. She was restless all night; the guilt kept her up. She desperately wanted to sleep, but she wanted even more for Kian to be okay.

The blonde was busy adding sugar to her coffee when Jordyn approached her.

"Naomi!" the brunette called out, placing a hand on Naomi's arm.

She stilled, bracing herself for to be yelled at. Instead, Jordyn wrapped her up in a hug.

"I saw Kian," Jordyn revealed.

Naomi was confused, but when Jordyn pulled back, she saw that she was wearing scrubs.

"You work here?"

"Yeah, I'm a nurse here. I saw Kian. I'm so sorry, Naomi. I've tried calling Emily but she hasn't returned any of my calls."

"I don't think Emily knows Kian," Naomi said slowly. Emily knew about Kian but Naomi wouldn't call finding his girlfriend kissing another woman as meeting each other.

"I know we were all out together last night. I thought maybe she'd want to know. I feel so bad. I think Kian is really cool and I can totally see us being friends," Jordyn told the blonde. Maybe Emily hadn't told her about the kiss.

"Yeah, he's great," Naomi returned to stirring her coffee. "Wait, since you're a nurse here, do you know what happened to him? No one has told us anything, just that he's unconscious."

"They haven't sent a doctor in to talk to you?" Jordyn groaned. "We're so understaffed today. I'm lucky I have a break right now. He's been unconscious but breathing since he came in. A CT scan is scheduled for a little bit later because we don't have anyone to run it right now. He also has a few broken ribs. From the look of his injuries, we've assumed that he was in a really bad fight. He was found in an alleyway outside of a restaurant this morning. When I came in around 11 am, he was already set up."

Naomi nodded. So this was her fault somehow. She should have gone after him when he left last night. She could feel tears welling in her eyes again and she wiped at them before they could fall. "Thank you."

"I'm guessing he didn't go home last night?" Jordyn questioned further.

"I don't know. We got into a fight last night at Flames and he left. I stayed at my friend's flat to give him some space," Naomi said sheepishly before sipping at her coffee.

"Wow. I'm sorry," Jordyn tried to comfort the blonde. "Hopefully after this test, we'll know some more information so we can help him."

"Yeah. I should get back to him," Naomi answered, pointing in the vague direction of Kian's room.

Jordyn simply nodded and left to get some food the eat before her break ended. Naomi made her way back to Kian's room and pulled the chair closer to his bed. She sat again and stroked the top of his left hand. She told him she was sorry. She apologised for kissing Emily, for telling Emily that she still loved her. She apologised for not ever telling Kian about Emily. Naomi placed a soft kiss on his shoulder. She traced the lines of his tattoo that ran down his bicep.

A nurse came in to check on him. She gave a sad smile to Naomi before she left the room again. Naomi pulled out her phone and sent a text to Ali asking if they were doing okay. While she waited for a response, she checked her phone. She had a few emails from work about an article she had due to her editor on Monday. Naomi wished she had her laptop with her so she could try and get some work done while she waited. She debated on calling Ali and asking if she could bring it before they came back to the hospital, but Kian's body started convulsing. She stood up abruptly and panic erupted through her body. She froze and watched for a split second as Kian's body seized up. She heard some sort of alarm go off and suddenly a team of medical staff rushed into the room to attend to Kian. One of the nurses put a hand on Naomi's shoulder and asked her to wait outside.

Naomi was still in shock. She didn't remember walking out into the hall or the nurse pulling the curtain around his bed while they worked on him. She simply sat on the floor and leaned against the wall with her head in her hands. She didn't realise she had been crying either until Jordyn walked by with a chart in her hand and noticed the blonde sitting on the ground shaking.

"Hey, hey, look at me," Jordyn tried to calm down the girl crying in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I think he's having a seizure," Naomi managed to get out between sobs.

Jordyn tried to get Naomi to regulate her breathing and offered her a seat further down the hall. Naomi accepted and continued to work on breathing in and out.

"I have to go check on a patient but I'll make sure to come find you, okay?" Jordyn asked carefully.

"Yeah. I have to call his family," Naomi fumbled with her phone, trying to call Ali.

"Okay. I'll be back."

Naomi called Ali and let her know what happened and that she hadn't heard from the doctors yet. Ali said they were about to leave and would be there soon. She leaned her head back against the wall and tried not to cry again.

Ali and Deb arrived some fifteen minutes later as the doctor was approaching Naomi. He introduced himself and then went on to explain that Kian had a short series of seizures. They managed to stabilize him and were getting ready to take him for a CT scan in the next 10 minutes. He recommended going and visiting him quickly before they take him for the scan.

The group of women entered the room to see Kian laid flat out on the bed. He looked similar to before but somehow managed to look even more exhausted. His mother wept while stroking his messy hair and Ali carefully fit her small frame onto the bed to press into his side with her head lightly on his chest. Naomi simply stood at the foot of his bed while she cried and silently begged Kian to forgive her.

 

//

 

Jordyn and Dr. Hayes, the man who introduced himself earlier, came to take Kian for the CT scan. Jordyn gave Naomi a reassuring smile as she helped wheel his bed out of the room.

Before Dr. Hayes left, he turned to the group and recommended they go and get some food. The scan could take a while, due to the extent of his injuries. Deb agreed and led Ali out of the room. Naomi hesitated.

"I'm, uh, actually going to head home. Shower and grab the car so I'm not taking a taxi all over. Also I need my laptop to finish up some work for Monday," Naomi explained, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Okay," Deb replied. She stepped forward to wrap Naomi in a hug and return the key to her flat. "We'll be here."

"Alright, I'll be back. Let me know what happens. I'll try not to be too long."

Naomi called for a cab as she was leaving the fifth floor. One was waiting outside by the time she got there. She went home and showered, having a break down as soon as she stepped into the flat. After a hot shower, some food, and grabbing her bag filled with her work supplies, Naomi grabbed the car keys out of the bowl by the door.

She pulled into the parking lot and glanced at the clock on the radio. It was just before 6:30. She knew she was in for a long night. Exhaling, she grabbed her bag out of the backseat and locked the car door. When she looked up, she saw that Emily was the next row over and getting out of her dad's car, from what she remembered.

Naomi felt her heart skip a beat. "Emily?"

The redhead whipped around, startled by the call of her name. Naomi saw her blush once she recognized Naomi. "Er, hi," Emily responded, slowly walking over. "I heard about Kian. Jordyn called me like a dozen times today but I just got them all."

Naomi nodded and looked down at the bag in her hands. "We need to talk about last night," she told Emily softly.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I was really drunk and I didn't mean to ruin-"

"I wanted to," Naomi cut her off. "I saw you leaning in and I wanted to kiss you, so I did."

Emily blushed again, her cheeks staining a deep red. "I did too. But I still feel bad. You're with Kian."

"And you're with Jordyn. And I'm guessing you didn't tell her. I expected her to yell at me earlier when I saw her."

"No, I didn't tell her. I came to surprise her and hopefully make her feel better," Emily admitted as she began chewing on her bottom lip.

Naomi caught herself staring. "Stop that."

"What?" Emily went wide-eyed, concerned that she did something without realising it.

"Stop biting your lip like that. It's not fair," Naomi repeated, stepping closer to Emily. She was mad that she wanted to kiss her again. She wanted to feel reckless. The rest of her life was falling apart; why not try and gain some control back.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Emily stuttered, taken aback. Naomi was closing the space between them and she felt her stomach tighten.

"Kiss me," Naomi husked, placing a hand on Emily's jaw and angling it up towards her.

"Are you sure?" Emily breathed. She could feel her heart beating in her chest.

Naomi nodded before pushing their lips together again. Emily leaned up and put an arm around the blonde's neck to deepen the kiss. They fell into a steady rhythm until Emily remembered they were in a parking lot. She pulled back.

"No," Naomi grumbled, pulling Emily back in.

"Someone will see us," Emily tried to explain to Naomi between kisses.

"Shit, you're right," Naomi said as she straightened up. Her pupils were huge and it made Emily blush more. "Come back to my place," Naomi suggested, tugging at the hem of Emily's shirt.

Emily hesitated, looking at the hospital entrance before looking back at Naomi. "Jordyn doesn't know I'm here," Emily sighed, trying to convince herself of what was the right thing to do.

"Please?" Naomi grinned. "I've missed kissing you," Naomi stooped down to whisper in Emily's ear before planting kisses along the redhead's jaw.

Emily chewed on her lip before grunting and pulling Naomi back to her lips for another kiss. "I'll follow you."

Naomi grinned and turned around to get in her car and waited for Emily to follow her back to her flat. As soon as Emily was out of her car, Naomi pushed her up against it to kiss her again. It was like they never broke up at all.

"Inside," Emily managed to get out before attaching her lips to the blonde's neck.

Naomi grabbed Emily's hands and pulled her up to her flat, unlocking the door and pulling Emily inside by the collar. She didn't bother turning on the lights and stumbled to the bedroom with her lips attached to Emily's. They fell onto the bed as Naomi began to pull off her shirt.

"Let me," Emily stopped her and began to kiss the blonde again. She slid her hands under the fabric and pulled it up and over Naomi's head. She pushed the blonde down onto the bed and climbed on top of her, kissing down her body and unbuttoning her jeans. She slid the denim off of Naomi's legs and returned to kiss her on the lips. Naomi grew impatient and tugged on Emily's bottom lip with her teeth before turning them over so she was on top. She pulled off Emily's clothes in between kissing her and slowly made her way down her body, slipping a hand below Emily's waistband.

Naomi's name tumbled from her lips and their moans filled the room. Rounds of sex felt like mere minutes as they rediscovered each other's bodies.

It wasn't until Naomi's phone pulled them out of the reunion. As she picked up her phone and saw Ali's name flash across the screen, she felt horrible. She felt even worse when she noticed it was already past 9 pm. She tried to level out her voice as she answered the call, but she felt her heart drop as she heard Ali cry through the speaker.

"He didn't make it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I uploaded all of the chapters I had the same day. I'm still working on this fic and hopefully it will wrap up soon. Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

"He didn't make it."

Naomi dropped her phone onto the bed as she took in the words. Emily moved besides her to put a hand on her shoulder. 

"Naoms... what happened?" Emily softly asked. 

Naomi turned towards the redhead with tears filling her eyes. "Kian's dead."

Emily felt her throat go dry. "What do you need me to do?" 

Naomi closed her eyes, causing some tears to fall down her face. She tucked herself into Emily's side. The redhead stroked her hair and held her while she cried. 

 

//

 

After Emily got Naomi to calm down enough, she offered to drive her back to the hospital. Naomi declined, saying it would be better to stay there. Kian's family would be coming back to the flat at some point tonight. Emily nodded in response before she got up to get dressed. She helped Naomi into some clean clothes and got her some water. 

"Do you regret it?" Emily asked quietly as she sat on the edge of the bed next to Naomi. 

"You're going to have to be more clear, Ems."

"Last night... today. Any if it?" Emily was looking down at her hands now.

Naomi sighed and ran a hand over her face. "I want to," she whispered. "I feel guilty."

"Yeah. Me too," Emily agreed, playing with the hem of her own shirt. 

"I'm sorry I keep ruining things," Naomi sniffed, tears brimming her eyes. 

Emily turned towards Naomi and pulled her into a hug. "You haven't ruined anything," she comforted her. 

"But I have," Naomi mumbled into Emily's shoulder. "Kian's dead because of me. I'm fucking up your relationship. God, I fucked you in our bed while he was lying in a hospital bed, dying."

Emily felt the guilt crack open her chest. She knew what they were doing was wrong but she hoped she could ignore it. The past few years had been full of her feeling bad about her life and her choices. She knew Naomi was right and that she was apart of the problem. So instead she held Naomi tighter while she stained her shirt with tears. 

"What can I do?" Emily whispered after Naomi calmed down a little.

"I don't know," Naomi replied quietly. 

Emily nodded before pressing a kiss to the blonde's head. "I have to go soon. I wish I could help more."

"How long are you staying in Bristol?" Naomi pulled back to look at her and Emily could almost hear the desperation in her voice. 

"I have a job lined up this weekend. I'm hoping it will be enough for me to get a flat and move back here," Emily explained softly. 

Naomi nodded and looked towards the alarm clock on the end table. "It's almost 10. They'll be here soon."

"Yeah, I should probably go," Emily replied standing up. 

"Yeah," Naomi quietly agreed, rising from the bed as well. 

"I'm really sorry, Naoms. Here, let me give you my number. Call me if you need me," Emily tried to comfort her as Naomi handed her her cell phone so she could enter her number. 

"I'll walk you out," Naomi answered as Emily handed her back her phone. 

The two made their way outside to Emily's car. As she unlocked the door, she gave Naomi a sad smile. "It'll be okay," Emily reassured her as she pulled her into a hug. 

"I hope so," she replied, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that Kian is gone. 

Emily planted a quick kiss against her temple before letting go and opening her door. 

 

//

 

The wedding came and went and Emily shot some really great photos. She spent the day after the wedding editing them and also putting together a nice slideshow of photos to the song they shared their first dance to. After she was satisfied with her work, she decided to head out into the backyard and called Jordyn. 

"Hey you," Jordyn answered. 

"Hi," Emily replied, digging her foot into the ground as she sat on the back steps. 

"How was the wedding?"

"It was good. I just finished putting everything together actually and I figured I'd give you a call. How are you doing?"

"Good. It still kinda sucks, you know? He was fine on Halloween and then I practically watched him die," Jordyn's voice broke at the end. 

"I know," Emily whispered, feeling guilty that while she was supposed to be making Jordyn feel better, she was busy with Naomi. 

"I miss you," Jordyn replied quietly. Emily had made a point to stay busy and avoid Jordyn for as long as she could. 

"Yeah, me too."

"Since you finished up your work, can you come over tonight? I'm kind of scared to be alone. There's a huge storm coming in later tonight."

"Oh. Uhm. Yeah, I guess," Emily stumbled out, not thinking up an excuse fast enough. 

"I can make dinner," she offered. 

"Sure. I'll clean up and head over soon," Emily told her, squeezing her eyes shut and mentally berating herself for agreeing. 

"Okay. See you soon," Jordyn answered, noticeably happier. 

"Bye," Emily hung up and lightly pressed her palms into her eyes. 

 

//

 

Emily arrived at Jordyn's flat and was greeted by Jordyn pulling her into a hug followed by a hard kiss pressed to her lips. 

"Hello to you too," Emily chuckled at her girlfriend's enthusiastic greeting. 

"I've missed you," Jordyn grinned, her arms still wrapped around Emily's neck. 

"What are you making? It smells good in here," Emily asked. 

"Spaghetti and meatballs," Jordyn replied before turning to stir the pasta sauce she had on the stove. 

"Cool." Emily dropped her bag on the ground before pulling off her hoodie and hanging it up on one of the hooks by the door. 

"Sit on the couch and I'll bring you a drink," Jordyn shouted from the kitchen. 

Emily made her way to the living room and Jordyn brought them both drinks. 

"Cranberry vodkas," Jordyn smiled sheepishly as she handed a glass to Emily

She smiled and took a drink, enjoying the alcohol that was entering her system. She knew she'd need it to get through the night. 

"So I was hoping that you'd stay the night," Jordyn quietly revealed, looking down at her glass. 

"Oh. Uh-"

"Please?" Jordyn begged, her eyes meeting Emily's. She could see she was upset so she gave in to her. 

 

//

 

After dinner and a few drinks, the two were cuddled up on the couch watching Law & Order on Netflix. Emily was grateful for the drinks that gave her the willpower to push the guilt out of her head while Jordyn was curled into her side. 

The rain had started soon after the second episode and could be heard beating against the windows. It steadily got worse the longer the episodes stretched on. 

"Finish that," Jordyn mused, tapping Emily's glass that was clutched in her hand. Emily obliged and downed the rest of the liquid in the glass. 

She took the glass from Emily's hand and went to the kitchen to make more drinks. She returned to Emily's side and set the glasses on the table before climbing back onto the couch next to the redhead. Carefully, she leaned forward and started to kiss Emily's neck. 

"Jordyn," Emily sighed. "What are you doing?"

"Shh," she whispered as she continued to kiss her neck and climbed onto her lap so she was straddling her. 

"But-" Jordyn cut off Emily with her lips. 

She continued to kiss her and slid her hands under Emily's shirt. So she gave in. Emily let Jordyn kiss her and she even kissed Jordyn back. Jordyn's fingers skimmed Emily's stomach and sent a shiver up the redhead's spine. She tugged on the hem of Emily's shirt and pulled back to lift it up and over her head as her eyes fell to the hickey on Emily's chest. 

"What is that?" Jordyn asked with Emily's shirt still in her hands. 

"Huh?"

"That," Jordyn asked, anger evident in her voice as she pointed to the dark bruise settled on Emily's left breast. 

"Uh," Emily started but didn't finish. She was too busy looking at the mark on her chest, frustrated that she had forgotten that Naomi had left it there. 

"Anything?" Jordyn yelled now as she stood from the couch. 

"Jordyn," Emily sighed as she looked down at her lap. 

"What the fuck Emily?" She threw the shirt back at Emily. "I know it's not from me since we haven't fucked for over a week. Who did it?"

Emily carefully put her shirt back on as she looked up at Jordyn. She could see the tears forming in her eyes and the angry pout on her face. "I think it's best if you don't know," Emily finally said. 

"Bullshit. I deserve to know. How long has this been happening?"

"Only a few days, really. I'm sorry," Emily revealed, wringing her hands. 

"Who is it?" Jordyn pressed, crossing her arms now. 

"Jordyn, please."

"Tell me."

Emily sighed again. She looked down again before mumbling out, "Naomi."

"Naomi?! Emily what the fuck. Her boyfriend just died!"

"There's some things you don't know, Jordyn."

"Like what? Fucking enlighten me, Emily."

"Sit down and I'll explain. Please," Emily begged.

"Fine," Jordyn huffed out, sitting on the opposite end of the couch with her arms still crossed. "Explain."

"Well... we dated in college, when I was sixteen. And we were together until a little over a year ago, when I... er, I kinda just left. While she was at work." Emily was crying now. "I was so depressed and I hated myself so much that I couldn't put her through that anymore, so I kind of just packed everything that was mine in our flat and I left to live with my sister. I never told her why. I felt so bad. I tried to go back and see her after a while but she had already moved out." She was wiping the tears with the palms of her hands. "I hated seeing her so upset because of me. I felt like she regretted me. So I did what I thought would be best for her. And then I broke my stupid arm. And then I met you and you're so beautiful and sweet and I thought you would be good for me." It was Jordyn's turn to cry now. "And after our first date, I was walking home and I saw her. I fucking saw her leaving some club and she saw me and we just stared at each other. And it tore me apart. Everything that I felt for her came flooding back and I felt like I was drowning. So I went out with my sister and Effy and then she was there too. And I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like all of the air in my lungs had left so I went to the bathroom to calm myself down. But then she was there. Staring at me with so much disgust. So I went and got so fucked up that night that I hardly remember what happened. But then last week I got to Flames and she was there and she was talking to me like nothing had changed. And she told me she still loves me. And I felt so guilty about it that I kept drinking and I stayed as close to you as I could so I wouldn't do anything stupid but then you left to go outside and I don't remember how but I was there. I was in front of her. And then we were kissing and then Kian was there and he shoved me. And you found me and you wanted to leave so we left. And I should have told you then but I didn't and I'm so sorry." 

At this point, Emily was a sobbing mess. Her words were being choked out between sobs and Jordyn actually felt kind of bad. So she put a reassuring hand on Emily's back and rubbed in an attempt to get her to calm down. And after a few minutes, she did. 

"That doesn't explain the hickey on your chest, though," Jordyn whispered quietly, trying to hold back her own tears still. 

Emily started crying again, the guilt washing over her. "The day you called me to tell me about Kian, I drove to the hospital to surprise you and try and make you feel better. But when I got there, Naomi was in the car lot too. And she saw me and called out to me so I went to tell her that I was there to see you. But then she kissed me and I got so caught up in it. And we went back to her flat," Emily looked up at Jordyn with guilt in her eyes. "And we hooked up." Emily sighed. "And that's when she got the call about Kian. And I feel guilty that he's dead and that I hooked up with Naomi and that I knew I was hurting you," she choked out. "I'm so sorry Jordyn."

"You should be."

"I am. I really am. I never meant to hurt you," Emily sobbed, trying to wipe away the tears that flowed down her face. 

"Well at least now you can be with her without me to stop you," Jordyn replied bitterly. 

"What?"

"Do you really think I'm going to stay with you after this? And it's obvious you're still in love with her," Jordyn scolded. 

Emily simply nodded. "I should go. I understand if you don't want to see me again," Emily explained, standing up from her seat. 

"Yeah. You should go," Jordyn replied, standing and walking towards the door and holding it open. 

Emily grabbed her hoodie and her bag before standing in the doorway. "I'm really sorry Jordyn. I never meant for this to happen. 

"But it did. Bye Emily," Jordyn said sternly before she slammed the door and started crying again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is wrapping up.

November forced it’s way into Bristol straight away. It had been two weeks since Emily had heard from Naomi. It had been two weeks since Jordyn broke up with her. It had been two weeks since she had managed to fuck up her life even more.

But in that time, Emily tried her best to pull everything together. The couple from the wedding  loved the slideshow and insisted that they get copies of it to send out to their guests and paid her an additional 200 pounds for the trouble of producing so many copies. Emily used her pay to rent a small, two bedroom flat in Bristol and she and Katie moved her stuff from Katie's flat to Emily's new one. There wasn't a lot in her flat, really. Just a mattress and boxspring on the ground, a couch and coffee table in the living room, a desk, and a small table with two chairs. She didn't mind the lack of furniture. She actually enjoyed the amount of space it brought.

She knew that Kian's funeral had been the week before. And she found out from Effy that his skull was filling with blood and the only way to stop it was to drain it. To do that, they had to drill a small hole in his skull. It was a risky procedure and the chance of dying was high, but without it, he would have died from it. He died from a procedure that was an attempt to save his life.

Naomi didn't call Emily. Emily didn't have her number. She remembered where Naomi’s flat was, but didn’t feel right showing up uninvited. And although Emily was hurt from the lack of contact, she felt like she deserved it. All of the time she had spent away from Naomi had led to Naomi doing the same to her.

Jordyn had rightfully been angry with Emily. She didn't try to reach out to Jordyn and apologise; she had done that enough the night things ended. She hadn't spoken to her since.

The only good thing to come from the two weeks other than her new flat was her new job. A local photography studio had seen her portfolio that she had sent in and decided that they liked her work. So they hired her and her first day had been full of learning where all of the equipment was and how to manage with the business. She shadowed the owner, Mark, and learned how to handle appointments as well as book them. Emily was learning fast and her first appointment was scheduled for the next day.

She stood in her small kitchen making dinner for herself while music played from her laptop. She tried not to let the guilt of hurting Jordyn and Kian dying get to her. She'd felt better than she had when she heard Naomi receive the call, but it still hurt. After she ate, she settled into bed with her laptop and tried to sleep. Her head was filled with thoughts of Naomi. And Jordyn. And Kian. She wanted to stop feeling this way. She just wanted everything to stop.

 

//

 

Emily's first shoot went well. The family tipped her well and although she was only shooting family portraits, she was excited to be shooting again. She made her way to a small café to grab some lunch before heading back to the studio. She sat at a small table and let the warm coffee warm her body. Bristol had somehow managed to get colder and there was a small break in the rain for a few days, but that didn't stop the cold from creeping in. Emily was halfway through her sandwich when she looked up from the newspaper settled in front of her to see Naomi standing in line to order. She felt her stomach tighten and her heartbeat pick up. Naomi was scrolling through her phone and either didn’t see Emily or was pretending not to notice her. But Emily decided to talk to her. She carefully stood up and smoothed out her shirt, wiping the sweat off of her palms that had  formed there, and made her way towards the blonde.

Emily gently placed her hand on Naomi’s bicep. “Naomi. Hi.”

“Oh, er, hi Emily,” she stuttered out, startled by the smaller girl suddenly in front of her.

“How are you?” Emily asked but Naomi knew she was asking about more than just her day. She was asking about how she’s been dealing with Kian’s death and probably asking why she hadn’t made an effort to call her after they hooked up.

 

“I’m… good, I suppose. I’m getting better,” Naomi replied, taking a step forward as the line moved.

“That’s good. You never called.” The words tumbled out before Emily could stop them. She mentally scolded herself.

“Oh. Yeah. I’ve been kinda busy.” Naomi pulled her warm coat around herself a little bit tighter. “My landlord is giving me two weeks to move out since I can’t really pay rent without Kian,” Naomi sighed out.

“I have an extra room.” Emily dropped her face into her hand. She was definitely on a roll today. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. You probably have somewhere else lined up and you probably don’t want to live with me, I was just-”

“Emily,” Naomi laughed in an attempt to stop Emily’s rant. “That’s sweet of you. If I can’t find anywhere else, I’ll definitely think about it. Okay?”

Emily nodded as Naomi stepped up to the counter to order. She took it as her cue to return back to her table, so she did and returned to reading her newspaper while trying not to watch Naomi as she waited for her coffee. She was surprised when Naomi plopped down opposite her and gave her a small smile once she was settled.

“Is this okay?” Naomi asked softly, gesturing to the table.

“Of course is it,” Emily smiled back at her.

The two fell into a comfortable conversation as they drank their coffee. It wasn’t until a reminder on Emily’s phone went off, reminding her that she only had five more minutes of her lunch break left, that they realised they had spent the last 30 minutes talking and laughing with each other. Emily gathered her things to go and Naomi stood as well, offering to walk her back to work.

“Sure,” Emily replied with a smile and the two walked towards the photography studio.

“I’ll definitely keep that offer in mind,” Naomi quipped as she leaned against the counter while Emily clocked in.

“I’m glad.”

Naomi offered Emily a hug before she left which surprised the smaller girl. She reveled in the warm embrace and found herself looking back at the moment for the rest of the day. She could still smell Naomi’s perfume, the soft scent of vanilla still filling her mind.

It sort of became habit for the two of them over the next week. Naomi would stroll into the cafe around the same time every day and Emily would be sitting at the same table with a sandwich, newspaper, and coffee for each of them. They’d converse and laugh and Naomi would walk Emily back to the studio and hug her before she left. After the first few days, Naomi had started to text Emily and they would spend all of their free time texting each other. It’s like they were transported back to college, where they would see each other everyday and spend the time they weren’t together glued to their phones. The texting turned into calls before bed where Naomi would confess that she couldn’t sleep and hadn’t really been able to since Kian died. Emily would do her best to comfort her and would fight heavy eyelids until she would hear Naomi’s even breaths, signalling that she was asleep.

It was the beginning of the second week that they found themselves sitting at the cafe again, rain pounding against the windows and coffee warming their bones that Naomi asked if she could still move in with Emily. She was shocked, of course, but immediately assured the blonde that she could. The rest of their lunch was filled with planning the move.

By the next week, Naomi was moved into the second bedroom, after countless comments about the lack of furniture in the apartment. Emily meekly defended herself, reminding Naomi that she left all of her furniture with Naomi the year before. It was awkward for a moment before Emily managed to trip on nothing and broke the tense atmosphere.

The two settled into an easy rhythm of living together. Naomi would go grocery shopping and cook while Emily cleaned and attempted to be funny. They’d watch netflix in the living room together and sometimes Naomi would fall asleep with her head in Emily’s lap. Emily tried not to read too much into it and instead made sure that Naomi was covered up and sufficiently warm. But there was only so much Emily could take.

“Naomi!” Emily called out one day after returning home from work. She dropped her keys into the bowl by the door and placed the bag of groceries on the counter.

“I’m changing, one second,” Naomi responded. Emily tried not to think of Naomi naked. She failed. The blonde emerged from her room a few seconds later while pulling a jumper over herself. “What’s up?”

“Er, well,” Emily stumbled, suddenly nervous. “I wanted to make you dinner. You know, do something nice.”

“Is this a date?” Naomi joked before taking a swig of her water bottle. She almost spit it out when she saw Emily turn red.

“No, no, it’s not a date,” Emily rubbed at the back of her neck and turned her attention to putting away the groceries.

“I was just joking,” Naomi said before coming up behind Emily and wrapping her arms around her waist. “It can be a date,” she whispered.

Emily swallowed hard and was glad that her back was to Naomi to hide the blush burning across her entire body. She always blushed when Naomi was affectionate towards her, which lately, had been all the time since moving in. “Okay.”

“You know what I’ve really been craving lately?” Naomi asked as she moved to help Emily put away the groceries. “Chips. I’ve had some every day for the past few days but I still want more. And Garibaldi’s.”

Emily laughed before pulling a package of Garibaldi’s. Naomi’s eyes lit up before she pulled them from from Emily’s grip and tore the package open. “Don’t eat them all in one go,” Emily warned her but Naomi settled on the couch before digging into it.

Emily set to work on making dinner for Naomi and desperately followed the instructions in the cookbook laid out before her in hopes that it would turn out edible. She even set the small table and made it look nice. Naomi looked proud when Emily set down a plate in front of her that looked decent, considering she was always the cook in their relationship. Emily poured them both a glass of wine and they tucked into the food, which surprisingly tasted really good. They fell into a conversation about each other’s day and Emily noted how domestic it felt. It was like the last year never happened, which made Emily feel a little bit guilty. She had put Naomi through so much, yet here she was, sitting in front of her a year later on a makeshift date. Naomi got a little buzzed off of a few glasses of wine and they kept the routine of cuddling up on the couch with another season of Grey’s Anatomy. Halfway through the second episode, Naomi chanced it and kissed Emily. Scared that Naomi was only kissing her because she was a little bit drunk, Emily returned the kiss but didn’t push it any farther. Naomi let out a small whine but cuddled closer to Emily and managed to fall asleep a few minutes later.

The two fell asleep on the couch again but when Emily woke up, Naomi wasn’t there. Confused, she peeked into Naomi’s room and saw the bed empty. Her keys were in the bowl by the door so she hadn’t left. Emily was confused in her half awake state until she heard Naomi throwing up from down the hall. She tapped on the door and opened it quietly only to find Naomi hunched over the toilet. She hurried over and rubbed Naomi’s back and pulled her hair back while Naomi emptied the contents of her stomach.

“I think I got food poisoning from your cooking,” Naomi groaned before going to throw up again.

 

 

  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

Naomi continued to throw up for the rest of the morning so Emily sentenced her to  
bedrest (on the couch) where Emily brought her soup--that she didn’t cook herself--and plenty of water. By midday, Naomi was feeling a lot better and even managed to convince Emily to tell her get some of her assignments done while Emily went to the studio for a late shift. 

That night, Naomi cooked dinner and thankfully, no one died or got sick, which Naomi was sure to tease Emily about. Naomi continued to work on her articles while Emily watched a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy but retired to her room once she realised that Naomi wouldn’t be joining her. 

The next morning, Emily was on her way to take a shower when she found Naomi in the bathroom again. She sighed before dropping to her knees and soothing Naomi again. 

“Well we know it’s not my food that did that,” she replied with a laugh. 

Naomi just groaned in response. “I can’t miss work today.”

“I know,” Emily murmured as she continued to rub her back. “How about I put some soup in a thermos for you? You only threw up twice yesterday. Maybe it’ll be the same today.”

“I hope so,” Naomi pouted. 

“Come on babe, let’s get you cleaned up,” Emily offered. 

Naomi stilled. “Did you just?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Okay,” Naomi shrugged. 

Emily exhaled deeply before helping lift Naomi to her feet. She flushed the toilet and wet a washcloth to help clean her up. 

“Thank you,” Naomi smiled as she sat on the edge of the tub. 

“I’ll always take care of you,” Emily chuckled. 

“Promise?” 

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere,” Emily pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Please don’t leave me again, Em.” Naomi looked up through her eyelashes. 

Emily cupped Naomi’s jaw and leaned their foreheads together. “I won’t.”

Naomi leaned up and kissed Emily’s cheek. “I’d kiss you but I probably should brush my teeth first,” she giggled. 

“You’re right,” Emily laughed before pulling Naomi into a standing position. “And I need to shower for work, so get out!”

“Aw, am I not allowed to join?” Naomi smirked as she watched Emily turn red before she grabbed for her tooth brush. 

“You hate shower sex,” Emily shot back, trying to sound confident. 

“Only because we slipped that one time and I had a bruise for two weeks.”

Emily shrugged before turning around to start the water. “Not my fault.”

“Oh, it definitely was,” Naomi spit out. 

“Sorry I’m just that good at making you come that you lost your grip and fell.”

“I’m sure,” she laughed before rinsing her mouth. 

“You can join if you want, Naoms.” Emily challenged with an eyebrow cocked. 

“I don’t want to make you late for work,” Naomi grabbed Emily’s waist and pulled her closer. 

“I still have a few hours,” she shrugged. 

“We might be cutting it a little close,” Naomi hummed against her lips. 

//

The next morning, Naomi was felling sick again, but it wasn’t until after Emily had left for work. Fearing the worst, she called Maya who picked up on the third ring. 

“Hey Naomi,” Maya answered cheerfully. 

“Maya, I might have a problem.”

“What is it?”

“Can you come over?” Naomi asked nervously. 

“Sure. I’m on my way,” she replied before hanging up. 

An hour and two pregnancy tests later, Naomi was terrified.

“What am I going to do?” Naomi whispered as she sat on the edge of the tub with her face in her hands. 

“Maybe they’re wrong?” Maya offered. 

“The other one is kind of blurry but this one is pretty clear,” she groaned while picking up the one closest to her. The two red lines stared back at her and she felt herself feeling sick again. 

“How did this happen? I’m pretty sure Em didn’t knock you up,” Maya joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

“Not helping,” Naomi shot her a look. “Kian and I… we may have had sex on Halloween before we went to Flames,” she replied sheepishly. 

“You’re telling me.. that you hooked up with Kian and then made out with Emily later that night?”

“You’re making it sound worse than it is,” Naomi complained. 

“I’m sorry,” she offered. “I just thought you and Kian were still on the downswing when… everything happened.”

“We were, we just… I don’t know. It kind of just happened.”

“I’m guessing Emily doesn’t know that happened?”

“Why would she?” Naomi looked up at her. 

“I don’t know. Are you going to tell her?” Maya questioned. 

“I kind of have to, don’t I?”

“Not really. I mean, you could-”

“No.” Naomi cut her off. “I mean… this is all we really have left of Kian, now. I don’t think Ali and Deb would ever forgive me. I’m the reason Kian died. I can’t do this to them too.”

“Naomi, you didn’t kill Kian. That wasn’t your fault.” Maya sighed. 

“But if I hadn’t kissed Emily-”

“If Emily hadn’t kissed you. If Emily hadn’t broken your heart, you wouldn’t have met Kian. If Emily hadn’t come barreling back into your life, you wouldn’t have questioned it. If Emily hadn’t gone to Flames that night, it wouldn’t have happened. I’m not blaming Emily either. Neither of you are at fault. Kian was drunk and he was mad and he left. It could have happened to anyone. It wasn’t your fault Naomi. I need you to understand that.” Maya was kneeling in front of her and Naomi’s hands in her own. 

Naomi simply nodded as the tears fell from her eyes. She had to tell Emily.

When Emily returned from work later than night, she found Naomi sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall. 

“Hey,” Emily called out when she stepped through the front door. 

“Hi,” Naomi replied softly. “How was work?”

“Long,” Emily complained as she plopped down next to her on the couch and pulled her in so she could plant a kiss on her forehead. “How was your day, beautiful?” 

Naomi felt her eyes prick with tears. She had to tell her, but god, she didn’t want it to be like this. “I uhm,” she cleared her throat to rid the lump that had lodged itself there. “I found out some news today.”  
Emily’s eyes widened as she felt tears hit her skin. “What happened Naoms?”

“Wow, I really don’t know how to tell you this,” Naomi chuckled to herself. 

“You can tell me anything,” Emily responded, pulling her chin up so she could look Naomi in the eye. 

Naomi closed her eyes and swallowed hard before replying. “I think I’m pregnant.”

Emily sat there in shock, trying to comprehend the news she had just heard. “You're… pregnant,” she said carefully. “You’re pregnant.” Deep breath. “How?” Emily was so confused. 

Naomi nodded and tried to wipe away the tears. “Might be. Kian and I had sex on Halloween.” 

“Oh.” Emily nodded as well. “Okay.”

“Are you mad?” Naomi asked sheepishly. 

“No. Because I have no right to be mad. You weren’t mine. Aren’t mine, I mean,” she stumbled out. 

“Right,” Naomi laughed coldly. 

“Not that I don’t want you to be. I really want you to be. And I miss being yours. Although we’re not things to be owned, we’re people, I just miss being your girlfriend is all.” Emily was embarrassed now. 

“Are you sure? I just found out I’m pregnant, Em. Do you really want to be with me still?”  
“I’ll always want to be with you.” Emily replied softly. 

“Even if I’m huge and about to push a baby out of me?” Naomi laughed. 

“Especially then!”

“Well then I think you’ve passed that test,” she giggled. “Be my girlfriend again?”

Emily eagerly pushed their lips together and Naomi laughed again, taking that as a yes.

//

The next day Naomi had gone to the clinic to get another test to see if she was actually pregnant. The test came back positive, so later that week, Naomi had an appointment scheduled for her first ultrasound. Emily offered to go with her, so that’s how they ended up in a waiting room surrounded by pregnant women and small children. 

“Look at them, with their grimy hands and snot filled noses. How do people do it?” Naomi groaned. 

“What are you talking about, they’re cute. Look at that one sitting at the table reading. They’re being so quiet and good.” Emily laughed at her girlfriend. 

She scoffed. “Please, that’s how they suck you in. They pretend to be adorable and sweet and the next thing you know, they’re throwing a temper tantrum and the store.”

Before Emily could reply, a nurse called Naomi’s name and they set off towards him. 

“Hello Naomi, I’m Brandon,” he explained as he led them down the hall towards an available room. “We’ll be doing an ultrasound to check on the little bean in there,” he pointed to her midsection with a laugh. 

“Sounds good,” Naomi replied with a nervous smile. 

This was really it. She couldn’t believe it was happening. She settled onto the table and Emily stood next to her and soothingly ran her fingers through Naomi’s hair. 

“Life you shirt up so we can get started. I’m going to put this gel on your tummy. It’s going to be cold,” he warned. 

She nodded that she understood but still let your a small gasp when the gel touched her skin. He laughed before grabbing the wand and moving spreading it over her stomach. The picture on the screen lit up as he continued to move the wand. 

“Sometimes they’re a little hard to find in the beginning,” Brandon chuckled, pushing his glasses further up with his free hand. He continued his movements and became increasingly confused. 

“What is it?” Emily asked. 

“I'm going to go get the doctor,” Brandon replied with a polite smile. 

“Why? Is something wrong?” Naomi was getting worried now. 

“I can't give any of the results, unfortunately. Only the doctor can.”

“But you're here, you know what's happening,” Emily pushed. 

“I really can't say anything. I'm sorry. I'll be right back,” he assured the couple. 

Brandon stood and left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. 

“What do you think is happening?” Naomi asked quietly. 

“I don't know. I'm sure it's fine,” Emily said while giving Naomi's hand a squeeze. 

“Hopefully,” Naomi murmured as she stared at the now blank monitor. 

A few moments later, a middle aged women with dark skin and bright eyes entered the room. She introduced herself before sitting in the chair that Brandon sat in before and picked up the wand. She moved the wand around Naomi's abdomen, similar to how Brandon had. 

“Sorry, but aren't we supposed to be seeing something on the screen?” Emily asked. 

The doctor nodded and suggested that they go into her office. She handed Naomi a few paper towels to clean up the gel while she cleaned the equipment. Naomi grabbed ahold of Emily's hand while they followed the doctor into the small room. It was brightly coloured and had a large wooden desk with a few folders scattered across it. There were two plush chairs settled in front of the desk and the doctor gestured for them to sit down in them. 

“So I'm sure you're wondering why we're in here and not back in the room,” the doctor started carefully. Naomi nodded so she continued. “You noticed that nothing was seen on the monitor… And that's because the fetus didn't survive.”

Naomi stared blankly at the doctor. “But I just got tested the other day and it was positive,” she explained. 

“That's true. However, not all fetuses survive and it's surprisingly common for this to happen during the first trimester.” 

“So you're saying she's not pregnant? That's it? There's nothing you can do about it?” Emily cut in. 

“I'm sorry, but no. I understand how devastating this can be. I've seen many couples try and get pregnant. Hopefully in the future it will work out for you two,” the woman replied with a sad smile. 

“Oh, no we weren't trying,” Emily stuttered out. 

“My boyfriend recently passed away and I found out I was pregnant. It was his.” Naomi explained. 

“Oh. I'm so sorry, I just assumed you two were together.” The doctor tried to backpedal. 

“We are. We just didn't plan this baby,” Emily replied. 

“I understand. Do you have anymore questions? Otherwise you're free to leave.”

Naomi shook her head no and the doctor rose to guide them back out to the lobby. Emily thanked her before leading Naomi out to her car. 

“Are you okay?” Emily asked softly. 

“Yeah, I'm fine. Kinda bummed. Also a little bit relieved? I'm a horrible person,” she groaned in response. 

“No you're not,” Emily cooed as she pulled her girlfriend in for a hug. “The doctor said it herself. It's common for this to happen.”

“I'm not upset about that,” Naomi began to wipe at the tears forming. “I'm upset that I'm relieved. God, what's wrong with me.”

“Nothing is wrong with you, babe. What do you need? Netflix? Ice cream? Garibaldi's?” She asked with a small chuckle. 

“Garibaldis are always nice,” she laughed in response. “Thank you. For taking care of me.”

“I told you I'll always be here,” Emily said with a smile. “Now let's go home.”

//

Later that night, Naomi snuggled up in Emily's bed with her because she didn't want to be alone. And when she thought Emily was asleep, she finally let herself cry. She felt conflicted; she hurt knowing that she lost Kian’s child, her own child, but also felt relief that she wasn't being forced into motherhood in her mid twenties. 

She had Emily again. After a crazy year of heartache, death, and mistakes, she was finally back were she belonged. Obviously she and Emily had a long way to go before they were back to the way they were before, but she was excited to take that journey again. She finally felt safe again. She was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Finally done. I had the pregnancy planned since the beginning of this fic, but honestly it didn't feel right. Hopefully you're not too mad. I felt like Naomi and Emily really needed to get back to where they were/need to be. 
> 
> I might do an epilogue at some point in the future. If you'd like me to, please leave a comment letting me know! 
> 
> It was a crazy ride. Thanks for taking it with me.


End file.
